


Just the two of us

by Alwaysbekind2021



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Co-Parenting, College, F/M, Love, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysbekind2021/pseuds/Alwaysbekind2021
Summary: Joey and Pacey get pregnant during the Summer of 2001, how will they not only learn how to deal with co-parenting their child but teach their kid what this insane world has to often all three of them with this crazy thing called life and love.Good things might come to those who waitNot for those who wait too lateWe gotta go for all we knowJust the two of usWe can make it if we try
Relationships: Joey Potter/Pacey Witter
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	1. The beginning of the unknown

**Author's Note:**

> “The only difference between falling in love and being in love is that your heart already knows how you feel, but your mind is too stubborn to admit it.”   
> ― Colleen Hoover, Maybe Not

**July 4, 2001**

It was two in the morning and Joey was sitting on the bathroom floor with her head on the toilet seat. She was scared to move in fear that she would throw up again. Ever since two weeks ago, Joey had been in the bathroom most of the day, and it was the most painful experience of her life. Joey’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by her older sister walking into the room.  
  
“Hey. I brought you some water and crackers.” Bessie whispered as she sat on the floor next to her sister.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
The two didn’t say anything as Joey took a long sip of her water. “Small sips, Jo. You don’t want to get sick again.” Her sister reminded her as she handed her a cracker. “I hate being sick,” Joey muttered as she put her head on her sister’s shoulder.

“Well, you know you could always go to the doctor.” 

“No, I don’t want to.”

“Ok, well if you are just going to sit there then you are going to continue to hate being sick,” Bessie whispered with a chuckle. Joey looked at her and rolled her eyes. It was quiet for a moment as Joey was trying to find the right words to tell Bessie what was going on.

“I am pregnant.”

Bessie looked over at Joey in shock as she stood. “Excuse me?” She said to her. Joey sighed as she looked down at her feet and chewed her lip while a tear came crawling down her face.

“How long have you known?” Bessie asked her. “About a week,” Joey mumbled. “Is this why you don’t want to go to the doctors?” Bessie asked her. “That and I am still terrified to go. But I have an appointment with them next Tuesday.”

Bessie let out a long sigh as she sat down next to Joey. “Do you know what you are going to do?” She asked Joey. “No. I thought about all my options but they just seem like too much right now.” Joey whispered to her. “Have you told Pacey?” Bessie asked.

“No.”

“Joey you have to tell him.”

“Yeah, I will say hi, Pace. Remember the last time we had sex, oh yeah, you got me pregnant and I can’t bring myself to do abortion so I guess your DNA is stuck with me.”

“ Josephine Liliana Potter.”

“Well, it’s true,” Joey mumbled with an eye roll. “Look at me, Joey,” Bessie told her in a firm voice. Joey then looked up at her sister. “I know you are scared, and I am doing my best right now to not yell at you over this. However, if you don’t get your butt over to that phone and call Pacey. I will start yelling at you, do you hear me?”

Joey nodded her head at her sister. “What if he doesn’t want to be apart of this?” Joey asked softly. 

“Well, if he doesn’t want to be apart of it, then that’s his loss, not yours. But just knowing Pacey, he wouldn’t do that to you. You two may have broken up, but I know you two still love one another and this is his baby. You know when Mom first passed away, you stayed home for days at a time especially after Dad went to jail. You and I refused to even put ourselves in public. Well, one day Pacey came knocking on the door because he felt sorry that his Dad arrested our Dad. You disliked him but I knew by the look on Pacey’s face he wanted to do everything in his power to make things right again. But you refused to let him in, and I know it’s not because you were hating him.

But it was you being you, because Joey, you are the most stubborn human being I have ever met. Even when you were a newborn, I was shocked at how stubborn you were. Now here you are at seventeen, being stubborn on not asking for help so you been sitting here for two weeks in the bathroom refusing to let anyone in. I will allow the bathroom thing because, to be honest, it runs in the family. But what I will not allow you to do is to be stubborn by not going to tell Pacey about this baby because you are refusing to ask for his help, or most of all because you are just too scared. Because I promise you, Joey, you will regret that decision for the rest of your life.”  
  
Joey felt tears coming down even harder than before. She knew Bessie was right about this and she just hoped Pacey would be able to see this as well. 

“But also just because you two have a baby together, doesn’t mean you have to get back together.”

Joey raised her eyebrow at Bessie. “What does that mean?” She asked her sister. “Well, most people who get pregnant at a young age think that just because they are having a baby means they have to be together and let me be the first to tell you. If you do that to your child, you will not be teaching him or her anything about love because they will think that’s what love looks like because their parents taught them that.” Bessie explained to her as she wiped Joey’s tears from her cheek.

“What if I want to do adoption?”

“If that is what you want to do, then you need to do some research and then talk to Pacey.” 

Joey then looked at the ceiling and then sighed. “Will you support me?” Joey asked with a low scared tone in her voice. “Always,” Bessie said as she took Joey’s hand. Joey looked down and smiled at her. At least she knew one person would be by her side throughout all this. “But I am still going to get Pacey when he walks through this house,” Bessie told her with a serious face. “Very much noted,” Joey whispered with a laugh.

It was quiet as Joey rested her head on Bessie’s shoulder. “How come you were up anyway?” Joey asked her sister. “I could hear you from across the hallway for the past two hours. Let me just be the first to say, that our paying customers would probably really be disliking this place if they weren’t all upstairs and weren’t away from you.” 

Joey gave her a soft smile and took Bessie’s hand. “Thank you for helping me,” Joey whispered. “Do you need me to go to that Doctor’s appointment on Tuesday with you?” Bessie asked her. “I think I need to handle it on my own for now, but I will ask if I need it,” Joey told her with a small smile. 

“Well, I am going back to bed,” Bessie said as she got up but was stopped by Joey taking her hand. “Can you stay with me for a while?” Joey asked softly. “Of course,” Bessie said as she sat back down with Joey and rubbed her back gently as Joey put her head against the toilet seat as the pain started to come back to her. 

It was a small step but Bessie knew it was Joey’s way of stepping out of her comfort zone and asking for help.

**July 10,2001**

As Joey sat in the doctor’s office she felt her heart beating out of her chest as she stared at the posters around the room. One had caught her eye for the longest time, this poster was explaining everything that was happening in her body each month of the pregnancy. Joey swallows in fear of getting sick but she knew it wasn’t due to morning sickness. It was due to the fears that continued to reach her head.

What if she couldn’t be a good mom? What if she did do abortion, would that make her a terrible person? What if she put the baby up for adoption and she couldn’t give her baby up? What if Pacey hated her for this pregnancy? What if he didn’t want adoption if she wanted it?

Suddenly, Joey’s thoughts became too much so she grabbed her phone to call the one person who she would have never thought to call five years ago.

“Hey, Jen,” Joey whispered as her tears gently came down her face. “Hey, Joey what’s up?” Jen said to her. “Do you think you can come to the doctor's right now with me?” Joey asked her. 

“Yeah, sure. Where is it?” Jen asked her. “It’s at the hospital near us, on the right side level fourteen,” Joey whispered. “I will be there in ten,” Jen said and hung up the phone. 

Joey sighed as she then laid on the bench and closed her eyes. It was the first time in the past three weeks, where she could feel herself breathe and hear herself think. She thought about Pacey, how he would love and take care of her. How he would cook for her, talk about their future children with her, and show his love for her. A sudden memory came up at Joey that brought comfort and warmth to her heart.

**February 27, 2001**

Joey had to lay on Pacey’s bed for what seemed like a lifetime since she was sick. Bessie didn’t feel comfortable having a bunch of guests over at the B&B so she thought maybe she would cancel them til Joey got better. However Joey decided it would be best if she stayed with Pacey for the weekend so she haven’t to deal with the guilt that people’s room were getting canceled. While she was staying over, Pacey still went to school and then got Joey’s homework for her. He figured since it was only Thursday, he could stay with her for the next three days till they have school on Monday. While Joey would stay in his bed and catch up on sleep.

Pacey walked into the room and gave Joey a weak smile as he kneeled on the floor to be beside her. He then took her hand and kissed it and then softly rubbed her arm. “Hey.” He whispered to her as he then felt her forehead, it was warmer than when he left earlier. Joey smiled up at him as he took his hand. “I missed you,” Joey whispered as she smiled up at him. “I missed you too, Potter,” Pacey whispered as he gently kissed her cheek.

“Are you hungry? I made you some homemade chicken noodle soup.” Pacey asked her. “What time is it?” Joey asked in a dazed. “Like four o’clock,” Pacey said with a chuckle. “Can you help me up?” Joey asked as she sightly tried to get up off the bed. 

Pacey then helped her get out of bed and looked at her in amazement. Even when she was sick, she was the most beautiful human being, he ever laid his eyes on. The way her brown hair was in a messy bun and the way she was wearing his sweatshirt and pants. He wondered if she had ever looked this beautiful before even though little drops of sweat were dripping down her neck and back. That didn’t make her any less gorgeous than what he saw every time he looked at her. 

As they started to walk down the hallway, Joey stopped as she felt her stomach turned. “I feel like I am going to throw up,” Joey mumbled with tears in her eyes. Pacey softly led her to the bathroom but as soon as they made it there Joey fell to her knees at the toilet. She cried in pain as Pacey rubbed her back and got a wet towel to wipe off the sweat. He gently lifted the sweatshirt as he pressed the cold washcloth on her back and neck.

It was a few minutes of doing this as he put Joey into his arms. “I am sorry. I know this isn’t attractive.” Joey mumbled as she tucked her head into his chest. “Are you kidding? I still think you are the most gorgeous human being I have ever seen.” He mumbled into her ear. 

“You don’t mean that,” Joey whispered as she looked up at him. “I do too,” Pacey said as he took her hand and squeezed it.

“I love you.” He whispered in her ear. “I love you too,” Joey mumbled as she laid her head on his chest.

It was the next day when Joey woke up to feel a small tap against her arm. She opened her eyes to find Pacey with peanut butter toast and a glass of water. “Good morning.” He whispered as she sat up on the bed. “Hi.” She whispered and took the plate from him. Pacey then sat on the other side of her as she laid against him. 

“Hey, Jo.”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever thought about our future together?” 

“All the time. Why?” 

Pacey sighed as he softly rubbed her back. “I just had this dream last night with you and I and these two little kids. One was a boy and the other was a girl. The boy had your big brown eyes and the girl had your smile. I guess it just got me thinking about life when I woke up.” 

Joey gave him a weak smile as Pacey let out a small nervous chuckle. “I just want to know what you want after we get married, we never really talked about it before,” Pacey told her.  
“I thought about us having kids before. I think you would make a good father one day. The way I see you with little kids and even how you are when I am sick or not feeling well, makes me tingle a little on the inside. I would love to have a baby girl and boy with you one day.” Joey whispered and then took a bite of the toast.

Pacey softly ran his fingers through Joey’s hair as they sat in silents.“What names would you want?” 

“I don’t know. I try not to think that far ahead at times.” Joey whispered as she softly played with his fingers. “I haven’t thought that far ahead of it either, I think when I think that far ahead I get nervous that something will go wrong.”

Joey smiled up at him as he softly hugged her in his arms. “I do know one thing.” He whispered to her. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I will do everything in my power to make sure that kid has the best life.” 

“You will make a great father, I most definitely certain of that,” Joey told him and then let out a loud nasty cough. “Yeah but for now how about you go take a nap so you can rest up for a while.”

Joey laid down as Pacey took her plate and handed her water to her. “Here I don’t want you to get dehydrated.” 

Joey started to drink her water as she let out a small giggle over the giddiness she was feeling in her mind. As she was talking to him about this she just knew even more than ever that Pacey Witter would somehow be the father of her children when they got older. She laid on her side and a minute later felt another body on her back and a kiss on her neck. She got all the tingling feeling as she wished so badly she wasn’t sick so she could do more with him. But instead, she closed her eyes.

A few hours later, she woke up and turned to find Pacey gone, she got up and this time felt less dizzy than yesterday. She put the blanket over her body and walked downstairs to find Pacey watching Full house on the couch. 

“I see you have more energy.” 

“I feel a lot better, but is that Chicken noodle soup still open for its invitation?” 

Pacey gave her a small wink as he got up from the couch and started walking over to the kitchen. “Of course it is.”

Joey followed him as Pacey turned on the stove and she walked over to hug him. “Daisy for a girl,” Joey mumbled into his chest. “What’s that sweetheart?”

“If we had a girl, her name would be Daisy. When I was little, my mom used to give me Daisies because she said it reminded her of me because of the light it brought to her eyes when she would see it. She used to call me her little Daisy. It brings me comfort to think about and I feel like that is one way to pass on her to the next generation.”

Pacey smiled as he stared into her beautiful big brown eyes and knew how much meaning Joey’s mom brought into the world. The way she would smile and always talk to Pacey. The way her painting and cooking brought some type of light into the world that still never seemed to go away and it brought him the same comfort as it did when he was seven. 

“That’s perfect, Jo,” Pacey said as he brought her back into his arms and Pacey knew one day that name would bring happiness into his life even more than it just did when he just heard it.

**July 10,2001**

  
Suddenly Joey’s thoughts were interrupted by Jen walking in. “Hey,” Jen said as she set her things down. “Hi,” Joey whispered while slowly sitting up. “What’s wrong with you?” Jen asked as she sat down next to Joey. “Well,I’m pregnant and I thought I could do this on my own but turns out I can’t.” 

Jen looked at Joey in shock. “Wow. Who else knows?”

“Bessie but she isn’t here because I told her I could handle this appointment on my own but I realized I couldn’t do that.”

Jen smiled at her and took her hand. “I just feel like I can’t do this without someone next to me.” 

“I would be the same way, Thank you for calling me,” Jen said while squeezing Joey’s hand as Joey smiled at her. 

Then there was a knock at the door, and after twenty long minutes of Joey waiting a female doctor came in the room.

“Hello, which of you is Joey?” The doctor said. “I am,” Joey whispered with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you my name is Doctor Willis, and I will be running some tests today. First, we are going to ask you some questions.”

“Ok.”

“Any medical or psychological problems that we should be aware of?” 

“No.”

Doctor Willis then smiled and took her blood pressure, and check her height and weight. As she was checking Joey’s breast and cervical she started to ask more questions. 

“Do you know when your last period was?” 

“May 8.” 

“Alrighty. Any history of abortions or miscarriages?”

“No.”

“Anyone in your family that had any medical problems?”

“My Mom died of lung cancer,” Joey whispered in an uneasy tone. “I am sorry to hear that.” Doctor Willis said to her with a sad smile. 

“We are going to do a blood test today which I am sure you knew and then an ultrasound, is your friend driving you back home?” The doctor asked. 

“No,” Joey answered. “Alright well it is recommended but if not we can give you sugar to renter your body before you leave.”

“What is the blood test for?” Jen asked.

“Hemoglobin, hematocrit, Rubella, Varicella, Crystic Fibrosis, Hepatitis B, Tay Sach’s, Suckle Cell, HIV, Hemoglobin, Hematocrit levels and to see exactly how far she is.” 

Jen and Joey’s eyes got wide as the doctor continued to list the things. “Oh wow,” Joey mumbled. “We will do the blood test and then the ultrasound afterwards.” 

Joey smiled as she got up and went to the other room to take the test. 

It was about an hour later and doctor Willis was doing an ultrasound on Joey. “This may be cold.” Dr.Willis said. “Now, will the father be joining us today?” Dr.Willis asked Joey. “No,” Joey whispered. The doctor then smiled as she put the gel on Joey’s stomach. It was quiet as she was feeling around but then there was a small low sound coming around the room. “Is that?” Joey asked with tears in her eyes.

“That’s your baby. You are seven weeks along, which means you should have your baby around February. Congratulations.” Dr.Willis said with a smile. “We should call you tomorrow to say if we found anything wrong but your baby seems pretty healthy. Any concerns?” 

“Is there anything I can take for morning sickness?” Joey asked her. “Vitamin B, ginger, and doxylamine would be perfect for a situation like this. You also want to start taking prenatal vitamins.” Dr.Willis told her. “Every information that you need will be given in the baggie at the front desk and that’s where you set your next appointment.” 

“Thank you, Dr.Willis.”

“See you next time.” 

Joey and Jen walked to the front desk and made the second appointment which was August 10 and the two walked out.

“Do you want me to come home with you?” Jen asked her. “No, I am ok. But thank you for coming with me.” Joey told her. “What are friends for?” Jen said as they went down the elevator.

The two were silent as they walked to Joey’s truck. “So, when are you going to tell Pacey?” Jen asked carefully. “I was going to tell him when I got in the truck,” Joey said as she played with her fingers.

“Well if you need me-“ 

“I will call you.” Joey said with a weak smile. Jen hugged Joey as she walked away and Joey felt tears coming down her face. She then dials Pacey’s number hoping he picks up the phone and when he did his hello broke her into even more tears.

“I’m pregnant.”

Silents had filled the phone so much, Joey wouldn’t have been surprised if Pacey even had hung the phone up on her.

However, she was very glad that she was wrong when she heard his voice again. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, very much.” 

Joey could hear Pacey sighed through the phone. “How long have you known for?”

Joey sniffled and let out a deep breath. “Three weeks.”

“Listen, I will be home in two weeks, do you think you will be ok till then? I will try to get there sooner if I can.”

“I will be ok,” Joey reassured him. “Ok, if you need me, just call me.” 

Once again it was quiet as the two were thinking of what to say to one another.

  
“Hey, Pace.”

“Yeah, Potter?”

“I wish you were here with me.”

Pacey sighed.“I wish I was there with you too. But I will be soon I promise.”

“I will see you when I see you,” Joey said and didn’t let him finish with a goodbye because then she ended the phone call. 

Joey felt her whole body shake as she put her hand on her stomach. She reminded herself she needed to do better and that Pacey didn’t hang up the phone and he was planning on coming back. Not that Joey felt as if he would run but most definitely scared of it. 

Next Joey went to the grocery store to find the prenatal vitamins as she went down the aisle she found what she was looking for and started to walk away. But, she didn’t get very far when she found herself running into someone. The one person other than Pacey that she was dreading to see was right in front of her, Dawson Leery.

“Oh sorry,” Dawson said with a laugh. Joey let out a gulp as he looked at the bottle and then looked back at her. He handed her the bottle and walked away. 

“Dawson wait,” Joey said as she ran after him. “What?” Dawson snapped. “Let me explain, please?” Joey pleaded with him. “Are you pregnant?” Dawson whispered to her. Joey’s eyes got watery and she took his hand. “Yes,” Joey whispered to him. 

Dawson then dropped her hand. “Unbelievable.” 

Joey couldn’t say anything else before Dawson started to talk again. “You know what I should have expected this from you and Pacey.” 

Joey felt herself getting angry at Dawson but she bit her tongue to not say a word. “You know what’s going to happen is he is going to run away from you. He did after you two broke up so what makes this any different?”

Joey stared at Dawson and just simply punched him in the face. “Just shut up, Dawson. I am tired of hearing you talk about things when you have no right in saying them.” 

She then turned her head to the right to stare face to face with Doug and behind him was Jack. She smiled silently at the two as she walked over to the cash register.

As she was done, she felt someone run after her, and it was Jack. But Joey hadn’t stopped crying since she left Dawson so she refused to turn around. But she started to get dizzier and dizzier. Joey couldn’t tell if it was the lack of sleep and food or the events that happened that day but the next thing she knew everything was black.

A few hours later, Joey woke up to Bessie beside her and Jack and Doug across the room from her. She sat up quickly but then felt a rush of pain throughout her body. “Joey just sit back for a little bit,” Bessie said as she put her hand on her sister’s arm. 

She looked up at Doug and gave him a weak smile. “Hey, Bessie. Can I talk to Joey alone?” Doug asked.

Bessie smiled as she and Jack walked out of the room. “I called Pacey and he said he will be here by tomorrow night.” 

“He doesn’t have to come, I’m ok,” Joey whispered. Doug raised an eyebrow at her. “I am.”

“What made you punch Dawson in the face?” Doug asked. Joey let out a deep sigh as she thought about what she was going to say to him. At this moment she so desperately wanted Pacey here with her. 

“I told him I was pregnant and he told me that Pacey was just going to run away,” Joey whispered. “Yeah, I figured it was something about that,” Doug said as he sat in the chair next to her. “You knew?” Joey asked. “Well after you kind of had blackout, Dawson said, Make sure she is ok, she is pregnant and I also may had heard you beforehand ,” Doug said to her.

Joey sat there in silents, as she thought about what to say about that but then there was a knock on the door and an older female doctor walked into the room.

“Glad to see you are up.” She said with a smile. “Is the baby ok?” Joey asked her. “You and your baby are healthy. We just want to make sure you are alright by keeping you overnight. But I do have to say, Joey until the end of your pregnancy you are going to have to take it easy. I know when you first find out that you are pregnant it can be hard but this could happen again if you don’t take it seriously. You are thinking of another one.” The doctor said and then smile at Doug and she walked out.

“You know, Dawson is wrong about Pacey,” Doug said to her. Joey said nothing as she just looked up at him. “My brother isn’t the type to run away when it is something this big. He gets scared but is never too afraid to call his friends and family for updates. Then, there is you… for the past three years my brother will not stop talking about you. Especially when you two got together. I think the only thing Pacey is afraid of now is disappointing you or our family.” Doug said with a smile and then got up to walk out of the room.

  
It was a few hours later when Bessie and Joey were sitting in the hospital room watching Buffy the vampire when Dawson walked in. Bessie looked at him and then looked at Joey who was pretending not to see him. Bessie squeezed Joey’s hand and then walked out. 

Dawson sat next to her and Joey didn’t say anything. “I am sorry Joey. I guess once I heard those words, I’m pregnant. All my anger came out like fire. It was wrong of me, and I should have just kept those thoughts to myself.” Dawson said to her.

Joey slowly looked at him to see his black eye. She gave him a small smile and then looked away. “You know even though you are pregnant, I will be by your side. But if you need a few days to calm down, I will wait. Just know I am here for you.” Dawson said then begin to walk out the door but Joey stopped him.

“Dawson wait,” Joey said. Dawson then stopped walking out the door. “Just stay,” Joey whispered. “So you forgive me?” He asked.

“Not really, but I just really don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now,” Joey told him. “I could get us some movies and we could watch some?” Dawson said. 

“I like what is playing…if you don’t mind watching.” 

“Yeah sure,” Dawson said as he sat back down in the chair.

It was a few minutes later when Dawson started to move a lot in his chair. “Are you up to eating anything?” He asked her. “Not really,” Joey said as she didn’t take her eyes off the Tv. “What have you eaten today?” Dawson asked her. Joey then looked at him and took his hand.

“Dawson, I am fine, I promise. I will let you know if anything sounds amazing but for now, just watch the show.” Joey whispered with a smile as she looks back up.

Dawson then relaxed back in his chair and closed his eyes. Joey looked over and smirked at him, finally that boy just kept his thoughts to himself. Joey thought to herself as she tried to make herself comfortable again as she watched her show.

It was the next night, it was one in the morning and Joey was in bed. She had been going onto an on and off sleep for the past hour that was until she heard a knock on the window. To her surprise, it was Pacey.

She walked over to the window in confusion as she opened it, “What the hell?” She muttered as he made his way into the window the best he could. She gave him a look as he smiled up at her. But it wasn’t long before the two could say anything that Pacey gave Joey a big hug.

It was a hug that Joey had missed so much, warm and comforting. A hug that made her heart jump, and her emotions making her cry. Pacey looked at her and wiped her tears away. 

“I’m not going anywhere. You just tell me what you need and I will be here. Just don’t punch me now.” Pacey whispered. Joey chuckled as she put her hand on his fingers that were still on her cheeks.

“I think we should talk now,” Joey said as she looked down and took his hand to the bed. “No matter what happens, this doesn’t mean that we get back together. I think we should continue to see other people. Whether we put the baby up for adoption or we keep this baby.” She told him. 

“Are you thinking about doing adoption?” Pacey asked carefully. “Can we give a baby a good life right now?” Joey asked. “You know, I am a huge believer in things working out perfectly during it’s given time. If this baby is meant to be put up for adoption then wonderful people will come up. If not then we find jobs and a place. But I can most guarantee you that you will still go to school and we will find someone who can give this baby a good life. Or reverse we get this baby a good life and you, Miss.Josephine Potter will still go to Worthington in early September with a smile on your face. Pregnant or not, I promise you-”

“Pacey, you can’t promise me something like that,” Joey whispered. “I will because you are not going to be giving up your dream,” Pacey told her. 

“There was this time in April I thought I was pregnant-“ She started to say but was interrupted by Pacey. “You thought you were pregnant before? Why didn’t you tell me?” Pacey whispered in a hurt tone. “I was scared and you were on that fishing trip,” Joey said while giving him a look. “Ok, I deserve that,” Pacey whispered.

“Anyway, Bessie was yelling at me and said I will end up just like her and mom. I am just scared that she is right.” She whispered. 

“I will make sure on my grave that you don’t end up like that.” 

“Pacey.”

“I am serious Joey.” 

“So, if we do end up keeping this kid?” She whispered. “Then we do our best to co-parent.” He reminded her. Joey put her head on his chest and Pacey rubbed her back gently. “You should get some sleep,” Pacey told her. She then lifted her head and started to lay down on the bed. Pacey kissed her forehead and started to walk out the door.

“Where are you going?” Joey asked with a hurt tone in her voice.

“On the couch.”

“I am already pregnant, Pacey.”

Pacey let out a breathy laugh as he stared her down. “Well, I know that. I just think it’s best for now that I do this plus I need to handle Bessie on my own in the morning.” 

“Promise you will not leave the house?” 

“I pinky promise,” Pacey said with a goofy smile as he walked over to put her pinky on his pinky. “Get some rest, Jo.”

Joey smiled as she watched him walk out the door and then she closed her eyes.

  
**Pacey’s version**

July 10 changed Pacey John Witter’s life forever. It was the day he found out that Joey Potter was pregnant with his baby. He received the call around noon when he was fishing for lunch. Melanie was out shopping and Pacey wasn’t really into that kind of thing therefore he stayed behind.

When he saw Joey’s name on the flip phone, his heart dropped a little. As he answered the phone he heard sniffles from the other end. “Hello?” He asked. “I’m pregnant,” Joey said.

Pacey's mind started to fill with thoughts. Was he ready to be a father? How long has she known for? How far along was she? Had she gone to the doctors, yet? Was she and the baby healthy? Should he get on the next flight and come back?

However, instead of asking any of those questions the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, very much.” 

Pacey let out a long sigh through the phone.“How long have you known for?”

“Three weeks.”

“Listen, I will be home in two weeks, do you think you will be ok till then? I will try to get there sooner if I can.”

“I will be ok,” Joey reassures him.

Pacey felt like he should say more however he didn’t know what to say except. “Ok, if you need me, just call me.” 

He waited for a moment for her to reply but the thing she said warmed his heart. “Hey, Pace.”

“Yeah, Potter?”

“I wish you were here with me.”

Pacey sighed knowing things would be easier if he was by her side but he knew that would be impossible for a while now.“I wish I was there with you too. But it will be soon I promise.” He said.“I will see you when I see you.” Joey said to him.

Before Pacey could say anything else, Joey had hung up the phone call. He then let out a shaky breath. He wanted to hug Joey and tell her everything would be ok but instead, he was across the world from her. He sat there and just thought about everything that just took place. Joey Potter was carrying his child, he was going to be a father at eighteen. Was he even ready for that? Of course, he wasn’t ready for that. Who was ready for that?

Pacey sat down in a chair on the boat as he thought about his father. The way he was treated by him. All the hitting he had done to him, the way he would talk down to him, the way he would remind him that he wasn’t good enough. Pacey knew that’s why he had to be there for this little boy or girl. He never wanted his child or any of his children to ever have to face such pain he had faced for many years. 

It was less than an hour when Pacey got a call from Doug. The confusion came over him but he still answered it. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Pacey. Have you talked to Joey recently?”

“Probably like half an hour ago,” Pacey said then paused as he was about to tell Doug about the pregnancy. Should he tell his brother what Joey had just said to him or should he stay quiet? He was bound to find out sooner or later since Capeside was a small town. “She told me she was pregnant.” 

“So, I kind of heard about that when she was yelling at Dawson and then she punched him in the face.” 

Pacey laughed at the sound of that. “Do you happened to have a video of that on camera, Dougie?”

“Pacey, she passed out in the parking lot.” 

That got his attention without saying another word, he jumped up while dropping his fishing pole into the water. “Is she ok?” 

“We won’t know till she wakes up but they are running some tests on her right now.” 

Pacey looked down at the fishing pole and felt himself get emotional. He should have been there. He should have been there holding her hand. “Can you keep an eye on her, I will be there tomorrow night.”

“Don’t worry about her. I got you, Pacey. I will tell her when she wakes up.” Doug reassures him. “Call when she does,” Pacey said. “I will,” Doug said and then Pacey ended the phone call.

Pacey then called the owner of the boat who was the uncle of the girl he was somewhat seeing and explained everything to him. He somehow understood everything and told him to leave the boat with Melanie so Melanie and he can go back with it when he flies down there. 

Pacey was feeling relief to hear all this but he felt guilty for not going back from the Caribbean with Melanie. Now the only thing he had to do now was to go explain everything to her.

He then sailed to shore where Melanie was waiting for him with a smile. Guilt started to hit Pacey very hard. He felt as if he couldn’t tell her what was going on but he had to in order for him to go back to Joey. 

When he got to where she was, she could see his facial expression and knew something was wrong. “What happened to you?” Melanie asked with a chuckle. “I need to go back to Capeside.” He whispered.

“What?Why?” Melanie asked. “You may want to sit down for this,” Pacey said as he went to the cabin of the boat. “Pacey, you are scaring me,” Melanie said. 

“I got my ex-girlfriend pregnant.”

“Joey?” Melanie asked. Pacey nodded and put his hand on his forehead. 

“and now,” Pacey said as he sighed. 

“And now?” Melanie asked. “And now I have to go see her since she is in the hospital,” Pacey said as he sat next to her.

“Oh wow. You are just going to stop the trip?” Melanie asked.

“Your uncle is coming down to get the boat.” 

“But Pacey what about your dream?” Melanie said while standing up.

“I have to go back to Joey. I have a kid now, Mel.” He said as he stood up and took her hand. “And if something happens to the two of them, I will never forgive myself.” 

Melanie smiled up at him and look down as she played with his shirt. “I think we need to call us done as well Pacey. But I will say you will make a great father, I have seen how you are around little kids. You light up, Pacey Witter. And if you need someone to talk to, you have my number.” 

Pacey looked up at her and smiled. “Thank you.”

Pacey spent the evening packing his bag and Melanie watched him go. He hugged her for the last time before he got in the taxi. Now that he knew Joey was up and he felt more relieved but he knew that he should still go back for many reasons. 

He slept at the airport as he waited for his flight which was noon. Then, when he got on the plane it felt like the longest ten hours of his life. He waited and waited to be able to see Joey but the time was just not his friend. 

Finally ten hours of flying, and three delays at each airport he had to go to. He arrived at eleven o’clock at night. He got a taxi to Doug’s house where he borrowed his car and then drove to Joey’s house. He felt as if he should climb into Joey’s window because of how Bessie would probably be with the whole pregnancy situation and the fact that it was one in the morning. He knocked on Joey’s window knowing that she was in there. 

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. He couldn’t hear what she was saying all he could focus on was her. The way her hair was in a bun and how her brown eyes were reflecting in the moonlight. 

He climbed through the window and said nothing except hugged her. She was safe, she was healthy but most of all she was ok. 

He could feel the tears coming down her cheeks and a couple went down his neck. 

“I’m not going anywhere. You just tell me what you need and I will be here. Just don’t punch me now.” Pacey whispered as he softly wiped away her tears. His heart swirled as he heard her chuckle and he felt complete as she put her finger over his.

She then told him they needed to talk and Pacey watched her as she sat on the bed and started to speak.

“No matter what happens, this doesn’t mean that we get back together. I think we should continue to see other people. Whether we put the baby up for adoption or we keep this baby.” Joey told him. 

Pacey didn’t know what he had in mind when he came down here. Mostly to be apart of this kid’s life. But his mind started to race when Joey said adoption. 

Was he ok with that? He had to be, because in the end could he raise a child when he felt like a child himself half the time. But he knew this wouldn’t change Joey’s plan for college. How could he let that happen when she worked so hard for something so big like Worthington? 

But at the same time, he only knew about this baby for a day and he had already given up his dream with the boat.

He knew he would have to do everything in his power to make sure Joey’s dream to go to Worthington was completed and that he was going to be her biggest fan throughout all of it.

“Are you thinking about doing adoption?” Pacey asked carefully.

“Can we give a baby a good life right now?” Joey asked. 

“You know, I am a huge believer in things working out perfectly during its given time. If this baby is meant to be put up for adoption then wonderful people will come up. If not then we find jobs and a place. But I can almost guarantee you that you will still go to school and we will find someone who can give this baby a good life. Or reverse we get this baby a good life and you, Miss. Josephine Potter will still go to Worthington in early September with a smile on your face. Pregnant or not, I promise you-”

“Pacey, you can’t promise me something like that,” Joey whispered. “I will because you are not going to be giving up your dream,” Pacey told her. 

“There was this time in April I thought I was pregnant-“ She started to say.

It took Pacey a minute to process what she had just said to him. Where had he been throughout all this? Why didn’t she tell him what was happening.

“You thought you were pregnant before? Why didn’t you tell me?” Pacey whispered in a hurt tone. “I was scared and you were on that fishing trip,” Joey said while giving him a look. “Ok, I deserve that,” Pacey whispered.

“Anyway, Bessie was yelling at me and said I will end up just like her and mom. I am just scared that she is right.” She whispered. 

“I will make sure on my grave that you don’t end up like that.” 

“Pacey.”

“I am serious Joey.” 

“So, if we do end up keeping this kid?” She whispered. “Then we do our best to co-parent.” He reminded her. Joey put her head on his chest and Pacey rubbed her back gently. 

At this moment, Pacey felt his mind racing. He wanted so badly to help her through this but he knew he couldn’t. 

But he could be getting a job, showing up to appointments, doing whatever she needs, but most of all what he knew he was needing to do was to show up. He needed to work on being there and prove everyone wrong. He was going to be there for Joey no matter what they chose to do.

“You should get some sleep,” Pacey told her. He watched as she climbed into bed but he knew that he wouldn’t get into bed with her. It was already hard being around her but he knew the hardest part of co-parenting was going to be having to find new habits with Joey.

He then started to walk out the door but was stopped by Joey.“Where are you going?” Joey asked with a hurt tone in her voice.

“On the couch.”

“I am already pregnant, Pacey.”

Pacey let out a breathy laugh as he stared her down. “Well, I know that. I just think it’s best for now that I do this plus I need to handle Bessie on my own in the morning.” 

“Promise you will not leave the house?” 

  
“I pinky promise,” Pacey said with a goofy smile as he walked over to put her pinky on his pinky. “Get some rest, Jo.”

He then walked out the door and closed it behind him. She was safe and happy. As he continued to quietly walk into the living room, he found Bessie sitting on the couch reading a book with the lamp on.

“I reckon that you are here to plan my murder?” Pacey joked. Bessie raised her eyebrows at him as he stand in front of her.

“This is the only time, I get to myself,” Bessie whispered. “Why don’t you sit down? I promise I will not murder you.” Bessie whispered. 

Pacey sat down next to her and waited for her to say something. “I am not completely upset with you. But there is a part of me that sees Joey struggling. The way she spent half of June in the bathroom getting sick and the way she may not have a future with college tends to make me want to protect her from all this since she is my little sister.” Bessie whispered.

“I am not going anywhere,” Pacey told her. “I believe you, Pacey. But you are saying that now. If you change your mind in the future you will not only be hurting Joey but somehow you hurt a little boy or girl that is in this world. That child will have to face many things already with parents who aren’t older and married that is if you two decide to keep this baby.” 

“I already promise Joey that no matter what I was going to do everything in my power to make sure she graduates from Worthington and I mean it. I want to see her walk across that stage.” 

“And I want to believe you. But just promise yourself that as well. I would hate to see you not disappointing the two of them but you as well.” Bessie whispered as she closed her book.“I am surprised you didn’t sleep with Joey in the bed.” 

“We need to find a way to co-parent when we aren’t together, we need to start somewhere.” 

Bessie smiled up at him and then went to the closet to get blankets for him. 

“Just a fair warning, Joey may come out at three in the morning to get sick. It’s just part of pregnancy.” Bessie whispered and then started to walk to her bedroom but then stopped. “Oh and Pacey?” 

“Yes?” 

“You hurt her badly and I will hunt you down for the rest of your waken days. But for now, welcome home.”

Pacey smiled at Bessie as she walked away. He turned off the lamp and started to get comfortable on the couch. 

However, it was the uncertainty of it all that causes him pain. Not knowing, what would happen in a year. Not knowing what will even happen in a month. Yes, he was a fan of the unknown but a lot of it just made him scared not to know.

But deep in his heart, he imagines what their child would look like, he felt like he had done this a billion times. He always imagines a little boy with Joey’s big brown eyes, his curly hair, and his nose. He imagines playing with him and teaching him how to fish. Giving him piggyback rides, and teaching him how to treat women. He would slowly become Joey and Pacey’s whole world. He would be goofy and love to wrestle with others. At the end of the night, Joey would tuck him in bed while Pacey read him stories, and then Joey would sing the boy goodnight. 

As for the little girl, he imagines the little girl changing his whole world. She would have Joey’s sweet warm smile and maybe even her eyes. He hoped that she would look like her mother. She would be stubborn as ever but always making him laugh. He would teach her how a lady should be treated and listen to all her stories. He would love on her and tell her how stunning she looked every second of the day. He imagines when he came to pick her up she would run into his arms and love on him while Joey Smiles at the two of them. 

No matter what the gender of this child was Pacey knew that this kid would be loved no matter where he or she was. He was thinking of all these things and realized he had no idea where this kid was even going to be in eight to nine months from now. He didn’t even know if he or she was going to be with him to experience all those moments with him.

Would the two of them do open adoption? Would they be allowed to see their child as they grew up? Will the kid hate the two of them for not keeping him or her. 

All of these fears slowly exhausted Pacey as he slowly went into a deep sleep, and started to let go of his fears, and fell asleep.


	2. Chocolate and banana pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That there are many things that we can't understand. The past. The bad things that happened and we become afraid of what might happen in the future. Its okay to be afraid but we have to keep hoping and believeing. To keep hoping and trying our best to be good and do good. even when we're afraid”
> 
> ― Nafisa Haji, The Writing on My Forehead

**December 2,1988**

She couldn’t get out. The car door was locked. A bunch of spiders were crawling up her back. A clown was in the back of the car watching her as her family were covered in blood.

She turned her head and sitting next to her in the driver’s seat was a version of what Joey believed was her when she was older.

“You did this!” The older Joey yelled at her and then suddenly the car drove into the bottom of the ocean.

“Daddy!” Four year old Joey cried out for her Dad while sitting up. Mike ran into the room and took Joey into his arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream.” She told him as she buried her face into his chest.

“Again?”

She nodded her head at him. He picked her up and then took her into the kitchen. “What are we doing here?”

“We are making pancakes,” Mike told her. Joey tilted her head at him. “But it’s not even breakfast time yet.”

“That’s the fun part, Joey.” He told her as he put her on the kitchen counter.

“Daddy you are crazy sometimes.” Joey said to him while rolling her eyes.

Mike said nothing as he started to cut up the bananas. “You still haven’t told me about the dreams you been having.” He said to her.

“I had a dream that involved spiders crawling up my back in the front seat of our car. While you, Mama, and Bessie were killed in the backseat of the car by a big scary clown. However, this didn’t leave me completely alone because then an older version of myself started to yell at me telling me it was my fault that you all were dead. Then we drove into the bottom of an ocean.”

Mike looked up at his daughter and stopped what he was doing. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” He whispered.

“I was scared if I would have said something it would have came true,” Joey whispered.

Mike took her in his arms and just held her there. “Here is the funny thing about life baby girl. It is scary and those things you just described to me are just fears trying to haunt you. It is one of the worse feelings in the world.”

“What are fears?”

“It's something you are scared of.”

“Do fears ever come true?” Joey asked while she softly played with his earlobe.

“Sometimes if you allow it to play in your mind too much. But Joey. Your mama, Bessie, and I will always be here for you because we love you.Even if something did happen to us,we will always be right here.” Mike said as he pointed to her forehead.

Joey looked at him and smiled. He then put his nose on her nose. “You are my baby girl and no matter what happens, I will be there for you and your fears.”

He then hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. “Want to help me make those pancakes?”

Joey nodded her head and he put her back on the counter as she helped him put the flour in the bowl as much as possible without spilling it everywhere, they cracked the eggs, poured the milk, and then whisked it all together.

Joey then would watch her Dad as he would tell her stories that he had made up in his head. Then he showed her how to pour the mix on the pan as well as flipping the pancakes. She would laughed as he made a bunch of funny faces while he flipped the pancakes. She felt as if she could trust him and that she was loved by him but most of all she felt safe. As if nothing was ever going to harm her.

As she was eating the pancakes, he read her the Alexander Fairy Tale book. She listened as his voice would change to act out the characters.

He then would carry her to bed and read more until she fell asleep. When she would wake up the next morning, he would still be right there. No matter what time she would get up he would make sure to not leave her side till she woke up.

**November 2, 1990**

Seven-year-old Joey stared up at the ceiling as she watched the shadows come along the walls. The patterns creeped her out and she was terrified over every little thing. She turned to Dawson and started to shake him awake.

“Dawson.”

Silents.

“Dawson,” Joey repeated louder than before and then shooked him harder to wake him up. “What?” He mumbled. “Did you hear that?” She asked. Dawson sat up and turned on his light. “Do I hear what?” he said as Joey grabbed the ET doll from the floor.

Dawson got up from the bed and went to check outside the bedroom door. “Joey there is nothing there?” He said as Joey cuddled against the ET doll.

“I am pretty sure there is.”

Dawson laid back down as he smiled at Joey. It was the first time she had ever slept over and he found this amusing to watch.

“Scaredy-cat.”

“Shut up,” Joey whispered.

It was quiet as she started to shake in fear again. “Sorry, do you need me to get you a night light?”

“Dawson Leery.”

“Before you moved here, Pacey and I had only had one sleepover at the house. We normally just go into the woods. So it’s nice that you are here with me. It took us a long time to do this. But I am glad I met you during the summer.”

Joey turned to face him. “I am glad I moved here, my old town was kind of boring before. I had friends but nobody was like you.”

“Now you are less lonely with Me, Pacey, and of course ET”

Joey laughed at this but then made a face at the thought of Pacey Witter. He was constantly pulling her hair, made fun of her, and just never seemed to act like he knew Joey had feelings.

“Pacey is so rude to me.”

Dawson let out a laugh. “Yeah, he is a little mean, isn’t he?” Dawson whispered. “The first time I met him he pulled my hair and made fun of my name,” Joey said. Dawson laughed at her expression as she started to hide a little more into the ET doll.

“I have a feeling one day you two will be friends.”

“Please,” Joey scruffed.

She then turned to face him. “What food makes you the happiest?”

“Food?”

“Yeah.”

“Probably bacon,” Dawson said.

“Mine would be my Dad’s pancakes.”

“Are they good?”

“They are too good to be true, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. He makes them so fluffy and soft that I feel the comfort that I never knew I needed. Daddy makes them whenever I am having a bad dream, he will pick me up and we will go into the kitchen. He then will let me help him measure the cups and pour the batter onto the pan. Then by the end of it. I forget every bad thing that was ever in my dream.”

“So, they bring you a lot of comfort?”

“Yeah, they do. It makes me feel safe. Mama says that when I grow up and get married, she hopes I can find someone that can cook for me just like Daddy.”

Dawson smiled up at her. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I think maybe a writer. I love to write. I know we are only seven but every time I pick up a pencil and start writing it’s like everything inside of me that once felt bad just simply goes away. I also want to be able to go to college. Mom says she hopes I go and Dad said he hopes I go as well. Nobody in our family has ever finished and I want to make them proud.”

“That’s how I feel about filming. It’s like no matter what it is the one thing that will never betray me. When I get older, I want to go to LA and become a film director. I know I can do things nobody else can do, you know?”

“Yeah, I do know what you mean.”

“What are your dreams about?” Dawson asked her. Joey sighed as she started to play with the ET’s arms. “I dream I am trapped in this car and I am at the bottom of the ocean. I can’t get out nor can someone save me. Everything I fear is in that car. Clowns, Spiders, and my family that is killed in the backseat. This older woman is sitting in the front of the car with me and she just looks at me and says you did this. You killed your family.” Joey explained all of this and then looked at Dawson to find him asleep.

“And I can say the older woman is me,” Joey whispered. “Daddy says that I am scared over nothing. But I don’t know why I have those dreams every night but sure enough, I been having them for years.” Joey said as she hugged ET harder and a tear started to fall down her face.

Suddenly she felt Dawson’s finger wiping away her tears. “Well, I am not going anywhere. I will be by your side tonight if you have those dreams.” Dawson whispered.

“Can you leave the light on?”

“Yeah. Sure. Goodnight, Joey.”

“Night Dawson.”

** August 1, 2001  **

Joey Potter sighed as she stood in front of the B&B, as she felt like her heart was skipping when she saw Dawson sitting on the steps waiting for her as he was playing with an ET doll.

Ever since twenty days ago when she had punched Dawson in the face, she had begin to let her pride and stubbornness get the best of her. But at the same time Dawson also had never come to the B&B which cause her to believe she wasn’t the only one who had let her pride and stubbornness get the best of the emotions.

“Hey.” She said as she sat down next to him. Dawson then looked over at her and smiled.

“Hey.”

It was quiet for a moment as the silence followed by the hey got awkward. “For many years, We would talk about our future. I would go into film school, you would go to the most top proceed college, we would move away from this town but somehow manage to be together and we would support one another no matter what. Just like day one. But when you told me you were pregnant, I realize that the vision I had in my mind wasn’t as real as I would love it to be.”

Joey’s eyes started to tear up as she bite her bottom lip and stared deeply into Dawson’s eyes. “My first reaction was that I am going to lose the only girl I have ever had my eyes on. Our movies nights, the way we would spend the nights talking about nothing to everything, but most importantly, what makes us Dawson and Joey is our time together.”

“Dawson.” Joey started to say. “I remember the moment your mom died and you ran up to me and just cried for hours. I remember when you and I first met and I saw your smile for the first time. I remember in second grade when you kissed me on the cheek and Pacey told me I get cooties so I wiped it off in front of you. But most of all, I will always remember how we watch E.T together for the first time, I watch you as you watched the ending telling me it was the best movie you have ever seen while crying.”

“I mostly remember how our first sleepover went that day. It was the first day you saw me cry,” Joey whispered with a smile.

“We haven’t left one another then and I refuse to leave you alone now. It is my fault for acting like an ass to you. I am truly sorry for that. It shouldn’t matter if we are across the street or across the world from one another. You will always be my soulmate, the one I am constantly thinking about.”

“I am scared that you are just saying that but you are leaving to go to LA in less than twenty-four hours Dawson. We talked about this for years, you will find some girlfriend and she will be gorgeous then you simply forget about me.”Joey said.

“No, I won’t,” Dawson said.

“Yes, you will. Every time I think someone is going to be there for me they always leave. My mom when she died, my Dad when he got arrested, Pacey when he had left for sea after we broke up, and then you when you refused to talk to me for weeks after finding out about Pacey and I. You have the choice to run, Dawson. You get to leave but I chose to keep this baby that is inside of me but Dawson if you want to leave then you are allowed to. You realize that, don’t you. You don’t have to be the hero in this scene of whatever movie is playing in your mind.”

“I am not trying to be the hero. But somehow you just have to let me in again. You did it before, I haven’t left, and despite what I said before about Pacey hasn’t left either, right.”

Joey looked down at the ET sitting on Dawson’s lap. “Right,” Joey whispered. “And where is he right now?” Dawson asked.

Joey thought about this morning since Pacey had been living in a room at the B&B, he had been cooking for the guests. This morning he had told her that he had a job interview for Culinary down in Boston and that he was going to grab the newspaper. So that they could maybe find a place and job down there for her since she didn’t want to be in the dorm rooms due to the pregnancy.

“Having a job interview,” Joey answered him. “And where am I?” Dawson asked her. “With me right now.”

“You said earlier that Pacey and I are always leaving but the truth is that we haven’t gone anywhere. That somehow despite everything Pacey and I disagree on you are the one thing that we can somehow agree on when we are disagreeing. That no matter what happens Joey, you have to always wreck our world. You just never seemed to see it.” Dawson said as he set the ET doll on Joey’s lap.

“When you feel like the world is against you take this ET doll. Let this doll bring you the memories it did when you were little and didn’t know what to expect. But I remember you looking at me after the movie and saying it was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Remember that feeling because every time I think of how wrong I was about Pacey and refusing to let my pride go and say I was wrong, it was every day I just made the movie I had in my head worse. Mom looked at me and said life doesn’t work as a script but you have to go create the new one together. I don’t care if I am three thousand miles away and no matter how I look or don’t look I want to join your movie. Let me join this movie.”

Joey was in shock, she heard Dawson talk about so many things since they were seven. She seen him had countless meltdowns or fantasies in his head but not,once has she ever seen him like this. Now as they were seventeen and he was somehow accepting that new part of her life.

“I supposed in this movie, this E.T will be able to come home to stay with me?” Joey whispered as she smiled at Dawson. “Unlike the E.T from the original movie, I will come back,” Dawson promised her and then held up her finger and Joey put her finger against his.

She laughed then put her head against his shoulder. “I remember the first time I saw you. You had your film camera in one hand and used your other hand to talk. I remember looking at my mom and just wanting to talk to you. Then you came over and played with me.” Joey whispered.

“The first time I saw you you were laughing about something your mom had said to you. I will never forget every first time that we had together.”

Joey sighed as she turned her face into his shirt to cover her eyes. She felt the tears threatening to come out. Don’t cry. Don’t do it. She told herself.

“Did you bring the doll because of the first time we slept over in your bedroom?” Joey whispered. “Yeah, I remember that day like yesterday,” Dawson said.

Joey lifted her head to look at him. “Of course you do.” She teased.

“You were scared of a shadow that had crept into my room.”

“What can I say I was a scaredy-cat.”

“You still are,” Dawson said with a laugh.

“Oh, shut up.” She said with a giggle.

Dawson put his nose against his and brush it against hers. “Dawson.” She whispered as he got closer. She couldn’t kiss him it didn’t feel right.

He pushed his lips back but left their noses together. They then sat like that for a few minutes.

Finally, Joey cleared her throat and turned her head to look at the door. “You want to watch E.T with me?” She asked.

“I would love to,” Dawson said with a weak smile. She took his hand and then dragged him to the B&B doorway.

It was an hour after Dawson had left for the airport and Joey was laying across the couch in the empty B&B as she cried while watching ET and cuddling with the ET doll. In the beginning, she told herself she wouldn’t cry over something so silly. However, after Dawson had left and then she was alone. She could feel the tears running down her face as fast as a hare running past the tortoise.

Suddenly she heard her name be called by Pacey but she had no energy to straighten herself out to make it look like she was even ok. She looked over at him with her chin on the E.T doll’s head and her arms wrapped around it like it would go away forever if she let go of it.

Pacey kneeled in front of her and softly took the doll out of her arms and pulled her up to go into a hug. When she reached the warmth of his body it felt as if all the lights had come through in her body. She had been telling herself the whole time not to cry when Dawson was about to leave but instead of hiding her fears from Pacey, she allowed it to come out.

She felt Pacey’s hand run across her back. Up and down, up and down. She knew she couldn’t hide all those feelings that were slowly burning inside of her as her emptiness had begin to pour out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

“It’s ok.” She heard Pacey say through her ears. “You are ok.” He whispered as he continued to calm her down she begin to take in deep breaths. Finally when she felt as if she was done crying she bit her lip and pull herself out of his warm embrace.

She sat down on the couch and hug the ET doll as Pacey sat down next to her. “What happened Jo?” He whispered. “It’s stupid.” She whispered as she shook her head at him. “Joey, it’s not stupid even if you are simply crying over the end of the ET movie it would never be stupid, well maybe it would be a little bit funny-“ Pacey started to say but had stopped himself as she gave him a look.

“Ok, it will not be funny,” he said with his hands up in the air. Joey chuckled as she gave him a weak smile.

“Dawson came to the B&B before he left.” Joey started to say. “Was he rude?” Pacey asked gently but as Joey looked over to him she could tell there was resentment in his eyes. “No, actually it was the opposite. He said that he will stay and he is ok with this new part of the life, and he would love to be apart of it.” Joey said as she nervously played with the doll.

Pacey looked at her confused, “That’s great-“ Pacey started to say. Joey put the E.T doll next to her and stood up. “Ever since I found out about the pregnancy my mind has been racing, like what if I can’t complete school. I mean would a school like Worthington want me-“ Joey said as she started to pace on the floor but Pacey got up.

“Whoa,whoa,whoa. Joey. You don’t think my mind isn’t racing as well?” He said.

“I mean I know you promise me, but how do you know the school would even want me now? How can I complete everything now? I mean nobody going to want to be around me when I become this huge hormonal woman that can’t deal with her feelings.Plus, there is the studying, Pacey. You know how I am about my grades, it took a lot of scholarships to even get into that school, and even then that wasn’t enough. Dawson had to help and all the-“

“But you got in,” Pacey said as he took her hand. “You, Miss. Joey Potter got into the college of your dream. Because you worked hard for what you wanted. You are going to get looks, and you are right you may not get the full picture of your dream. But did you think I wanted to give up my dream on that boat? No, I didn’t.”

“Then why did you?” Joey asked as he sat her down on the couch. Pacey let out a deep breath and then looked at her.

“When we first had sex, I had a moment where I wasn’t just some horny teenager that wanted sex all the time without thinking. Yes, I repeated myself over and over about the sex but in a way, I have known you practically my whole life. I have seen you cry in tears of frustration when your grades weren’t perfect. Even with a ninety-eight, it was hard for you to accept how amazing you are.

I remember the first time you got your period, and I had to give you my jacket. You were embarrassed, but I am so used to things like that because of the women in my household. I was there at your mom’s funeral, and I held you for just a few minutes but in my eyes that felt like a lifetime.”

He then let out a sigh and a small laugh. “I remember when I first met you, it was in Mrs.Thomas’ classroom and I took one look at you and fell for you. But instead of being nice to you and telling you were beautiful, I pulled your ponytail and told everyone you had cooties.” Pacey said with smirk.

Joey laughed and rolled her eyes. “And that’s the moment I hated you.”

“ But Jo, in my mind, it was the moment that I noticed you are different from the other girls. So much that I kissed you three times, and still never lost hope. So, when we started to have sex, I thought about the future. I made a promise to myself that if you happen to get pregnant I would stay by your side. Helping you, loving you, and supporting you whether we are together or not. But most of all showing that kid, that parents can get along. I will be a father who will support this child no matter what you and I’s relationship is ever like. When I heard that you were pregnant, I didn’t know what to say. When I heard you were in the hospital from Doug, I dropped everything in hopes that you were ok.

I told you this four years ago when we first worked on that science project together and I will tell you this again right now. You will make it, and that Jo, hasn’t changed. I will help you study. On September first when you walk into that building and someone makes a single comment about you. You can just tell me. Because nothing is going to stop me from letting you give up your dreams. I can let go of mine but no way in hell will I allow yours to leave. Do you hear me? We aren’t together as a couple but I have always had high hopes for you. You just have to let me in.”

“I hear you, Pacey. I am just scared if we are doing this all-“ Joey started to say but watched as Pacey got up from his chair and grabbed a stack of papers.

“Here are all the apartments that are around Worthington. Here are all the jobs that are hiring even pregnant woman like yourself.” Pacey said as he sat down next to her again while handing her the papers. “I did this when I left the interview.Which I got it by the way.”

“You did?” Joey asked while looking up at the papers to look at him. “Yeah, I start Monday but I was thinking about this. We rent an apartment together. You will be on one side, I will be on the other side. We don’t even have to talk to one another. We split rent with each other and someone else, we are both broke at the moment but I still have some money that could get us through the first rent. We both work, and if we do decide to keep the baby. I will stay with you till you want me out.”

Joey looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “You would do that?”

“Yes, I would. I will do whatever you need. There are plenty of cheap apartments, it could be a fixer-upper with some. However, I am pretty sure we can handle that after our long list of fixer-uppers. But if you don’t want to do this-“

Joey shook her head at him. “Are you kidding? That is a great idea. Thank you, Pace.”

Joey looked through the papers and felt as if the pregnancy was becoming more real. She had this strong feeling that the start of adulthood was most definitely not going to be easy. As she was flipping through the paper, she let out a chuckle.

Ten years ago if someone looked at Joey and Pacey and told them this was going to happen to them when they were seventeen and eighteen they most certainly would run away from them screaming. But here she was listening to him speak about how he wasn’t going to leave. She had to force herself not to kiss him at that moment. It took all of her not to say I still love you. She refused to say those words to him, to mess with something that could easily be left undone.

She looked up at him as he had his papers, and flipping through it.

“Pace?”

“Jo.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Pacey let out a small chuckle and looked up at her. “You wouldn’t be pregnant if you were without me.”

Joey gave him a look as he laughed. “That’s not funny.” She said as she bite her bottom lip from laughing.

He smiled at her and then looked down at the paper. “Is this weird to you?” Joey asked. “What you mean?” Pacey asked her.

“I mean four months ago we were in high school, dating and wondering where life was taking us and now we are sitting here trying to figure out what this whole pregnancy will bring us. I mean is this ok?” Joey explained to him. “I mean we got to do, what we got to do. It just kind of sad, we have to do it this way.” Pacey said.

“Are you ok with this?” Pacey asked her. Joey sighed as she didn’t look up at him.

“You know, part of me thinks we can prove a lot of things to this kid if we aren’t together. I seen my parents not work out and they had a baby at a young age, I think we were made to be together at one point in time but maybe it was never really meant to be.”

“Yeah. I guess you are right.” Pacey said as he looked down at the newspaper. “This isn’t as expensive as the other ones,” Joey said as he pointed at a place.

“Yeah, I looked at most of them while I was down there,” Pacey said. Joey let out a small smile, “Tell me about this place.” Joey said.

“Well, there is a woman named Flora who originally rents it, she wants to split the cost. She is twenty and she has a three-year-old but he only lives there on the weekends. The Dad walked out but she is trying to fight for full custody but she needs the money to take care of her son. So, she wants to split the cost with other people.Right now, there is just her and her sister Audrey,who is around our age, living there.”

“And is that the only place you have gone to?” Joey asked. “Uh, no. I went to five different places but that was the last one. All the other ones were either way too pricey or in a trashy neighborhood.” Pacey said.

“Well, we should look at it,” Joey said as she closed the newspaper. “Um, Jo, I think we are forgetting one part that we haven’t talked about,” Pacey said as he nervously picked at the thread of his sleeve.

“Which is?”

“Well, you talked about adoption, and I think it is an idea. But we need to know if we are saving our money for a baby, and how many jobs should we get now?”

Joey gulped and started to feel nauseous and for the first time since telling Dawson about the pregnancy, she felt as if it wasn’t due to morning sickness. She then crossed her legs and turned to face him. “I want to keep this baby, Pace. But what if we weren’t meant to be parents. When I first found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death but after my first doctor’s appointment. I heard the little heartbeat and everything that I felt just went away. But you are asking me what I want but isn’t it about what you want as well? Do you think we could handle a kid, Pace?”

“You don’t think I am not scared as well?” He whispered. “I am terrified of our doctor's appointment that is in a few days. But I lay awake at night daydreaming of every little thing, and it just makes me want this baby more and more. I want to be a father, and yeah. I don’t know what the hell I am doing but man wouldn’t it be amazing if we just let our fears go and tried? Forget about our past and just took care of this baby with the love and kindness that it deserves?”

Joey felt her tears running down her face and her mind started to go to different places. What if he is right? What if we can do this? But what if he is wrong? What if we can’t do this? She then looked up at him and saw him have tears in his eyes as well.

“I want this baby too, Pacey. But if we do keep this baby promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me we will both stay. I feel like my mind has been spinning from all these fears. Will he not come back? Will he realize he doesn’t want this baby with me and leave? Will he realize that his dreams are still out there and we are still young?”

Pacey then pulled her into his arms. Comfort. Security. Warmth. All those feelings made her feel like she was important in this world. One of the best feeling that she has so gracious have not lost yet.

“I promise you. I will be there. To answer those fears, I would come back. The past will haunt you one day or another and by leaving you now it would be very cowardly of me to come back to this and just leave you and this child.”

“So we are both keeping this baby?” Joey asked softly. “Yeah, I guess so,” Pacey whispered.

“But, um. We should probably tell your family.” Joey said nervously. “Well, they like you more than me,” Pacey said.

“Yeah. Pacey, I went to those Sunday dinners with your mom for at least seven months and I bet she is going to take one good look at me if we go over there and be like hey Josie.”

“Better than a failure.” Pacey scruff as he folded the newspaper and put it on the table. “I mean we could always not tell them, Jo.”

“No, No, No,” Joey said with a teasing smile

“Or we can go to a different country and act like we have no lives here.”

“You are trying hard to get out of this aren’t you?”

“Yeah, is it working?” Pacey said with a wink.

“Nope because there are some people in our lives that already know,” Joey said with a laugh.

“Well, damn.”

“As much as we are going to regret this, just call your mom. But it helps I’m scared to tell my Dad.”

Pacey smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Joey knew how she felt about her Dad, the relationship over the years hasn’t gotten any better. But never really felt like he would want to see her, he would of course write her letters and she would write back at times. But the relationship had broken years ago.

“How about this?” Pacey said. “I will tell my family and you write to your Dad about the pregnancy.”

“You know, moving away sounds like a good idea right now,” Joey whispered.

“Well, like you said half the family already knows.”

Joey smiled at him and then thought about her Dad. Pacey was a lot like him, the way they loved to cook, the comfort they can give others, their smiles lighting up the room, but mostly how they can easily calm her nerves.

“I never told you this but when I was little my Dad would come in whenever I had a bad dream. It was always the same dream over what I feared over. I would wake up screaming my head off, and my Dad would comfort me. Then we would make pancakes, his pancakes are like yours. Soft and fluffy, but when he put chocolate chips and bananas in it. One thing it has in common is the warmth it gets it. Now, I miss his pancakes and I would do anything to go to him and have me make them.”

Pacey got up and went into the kitchen. “I will make some now. Keep talking.”

“I wonder what my mom would say about all of this,” Joey said with a laugh. “Probably would yell at me.”

Pacey said nothing as he started to make the batter.

“When I was little I was scared of a lot of things,” Pacey whispered. “I was told to hold in my feelings but, one day I remember my Dad running for sheriff, and I had to wear a suit and a tie. The tie was too tight, and the people were making me anxious. I remember my stomach was hurting so much I just fell to the floor. I was only seven but I had embarrassed my Dad that night for not being the perfect son. For not being the way he wanted. That was the first beaten, I had ever gotten. It was over something so stupid but it was also the night I viewed my Dad in a different way.”

Joey let out a sigh as she walked over to him and grabbed a banana and started to cut it up. “I remember when my mom died, I walked into the room and found her cold. She was so lifeless and then Dad got back into drugs. The rumors started to go around fast and it felt like my whole world was falling behind me. That’s one of the main reasons why I am excited to get out of Capeside in September. Even if I come back, about living here. I just care that I don’t live here.”

Pacey turned to her and let out a chuckle. “Maybe that’s why we are so scared to be parents. It’s funny because when you are little you view your parents as someone who can never hurt you. Then when finding out that they can hurt you it’s like this pain comes over you no matter how old you are.”

Joey looked up at him and smiled at him. “I think I am going to write that letter. But I can’t wait for the pancakes, it’s the first thing in weeks that don’t sound disgusting.”

“Well, since you are doing that. I will call Ma.”

Joey then walked into her bedroom and got out a piece of paper and pen. She stared at the two items for what seemed like a lifetime till she started to write.

_Dad,_

_Hi. It’s Joey. I didn’t know when I could be able to tell you this or even if I could but I feel like I should somehow let you know this._

_I’m pregnant. I have been so scared over what people will say. I mean I got into Worthington then I get pregnant that summer. But I feel like somehow I still need you._

_Bessie has been nice about it which is surprising. But sometimes it pains me to be in the same room with her. As for the father, it is Pacey Witter. We aren’t together, but we are planning on raising this baby together. I think we will turn out alright but sometimes I just wish it would be easier. I just want to make everyone proud in so many ways but it is harder now knowing that this expectation is going to hold over me._

_I miss you, Dad. I wish you were here and I wish things were easier on us. But I hope that I can do right by this kid. I think some days it is hard to understand why you did what you did. Granted I am not even a mother to this baby in this world yet. But I think I understand why you did what you did. In ways, you were lost and didn’t know where to go._

_A lot of the time, I feel trapped. Like I am in this bubble and I can’t breathe. But I also feel like if this is what adulting is then can I go back to being four where my only problem was making chocolate chip pancakes and watch you read to me. Because I would give anything to give those moments back. Wouldn’t you?_

_With Love,_

_Joey Potter_

Joey folded up the letter and put it into an envelope and then stare at the white blank envelope. Her thoughts then got interrupted by Pacey talking.

“Yeah, Ma.” She could hear him say. “Great, we will see you next Sunday. Bye.”

Joey walked out of her room and watched as Pacey put his head on the kitchen cabinet. She could see the pain he was trying to hide and she watched as he threw away a burnt pancake and started over.

She saw the tears coming down his face and he muttered something under his breath as he used a spoon to scoop for another round of pancakes.

She watched how gently he placed the mix onto the pan. “Pacey get over yourself.” She could hear him mumbled under his breath.

Joey then said nothing as she walked over to him and turned off the stove. She put him in her arms and just simply without any explanation hugged him. “Joey.” He whispered. “Pacey, you don’t have to do this.” She whispered to him.

“I feel like I do.” He whispered. “No, you don’t,” Joey said loudly as she put her forehead on his.

“I just want to make you proud because I… um…I am the one that got you pregnant. I owe you that much.”

“No, you don’t. Pacey don’t you see it? I don’t want anything except for you to be happy and present. College, my Dad, jobs, apartments, or even the questions of what-ifs don’t matter to me if you aren’t in this with me.”

“Do you think it’s wrong of me to have this pain of guilt when I just called my Mom?”

“No, I understand that. This is just us having to deal our feelings. But, Pace. Even if they say something rude about you and me. You don’t let it get to you. And another thing is you don’t have to be the hero. I said to Dawson today and I will say it to you. You don’t have to feel like you have to be nice or fun to be around just because you are here or even moving in with me. You still have your life, what happened in the past stays there but you have to make your path right now. Nobody is stopping you from anything.”

Joey softly wiped his tears away with her thumb as he let out a breathy laugh. She wanted so desperately wanted to kiss his lips. She wanted to so desperately take their jokes seriously and to go somewhere else and never look back.

She wanted to wake up with him and hold his hand throughout the pregnancy and everyday after it.

But instead, she smiled at him and backed out of their hug. She gave him a weak smile, and went to her bedroom to only shut the door behind her alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it, this definitely took almost a month to write. I will do my best to write faster but it is kind of hard to do.


	3. I'm not going anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, I am leaving a little Author’s note because I have to explain this part. So, this is based off all the things that were missing from Joey’s point of view into Pacey’s point of view. I tried to make it as strong as possible and it took hours of hard work to make this chapter the way I wanted it. However, I think the hardest part was trying to write Pacey Witter as the witty but selfless person that we all know him by. In the whole show this man was very very selfless when we saw him as selfish at times. Example could be Prom. He knew what was right but there were times were he didn’t say anything because he knew it wasn’t the right time. So I am not trying to seem like I am copying the last chapter into this chapter towards the end but I felt like having what he was feeling is going to be very important for the upcoming chapters that I am thinking about. I know you guys will live for this drama that I am going to write in the future. Let me know if you like the part like this or how I wrote in the first chapter. Happy reading!

> _And then there are those you stop counting the years with because they are here to stay._
> 
> _They are here. And they aren’t going anywhere.Nothing will make them flinch.Nothing will make them think twice.They know you at your worst,the worst you didn’t even know you had.They know the sound of your mood swings, the color of your anger, how you curse when you curse, how you shout when you throw a tantrum. They know when you’re avoiding a subject. They know when you’re lying. They know when you’re jealous. They know your vices by heart and they celebrate them. They celebrate you—vices included._
> 
> _They know your lost dreams and how life you over. They know the battles you lost. And they think your fabulous when you think you’re just an unlucky mediocre person who once thought will make it big in life.They know the last time you were happy. They see the unspoken sadness in your eyes. They know the words behind your silence. They know the photographs playing in your mind when you’re looking afar.They know YOU, the naked YOU, the raw YOU, not the embellished YOU people see, not the YOU that will be read in biographies or in elegies once you’re dead, not the YOU that introduces you to others._
> 
> _They love you from the bottom of their heart. They are your family regardless of their blood. They are your squad. They are your people.And no matter how many times you make them open the door, they can’t walk out. They just can’t. Because, just sometimes, when people say forever, they mean it. They do.”_
> 
> _― Malak El Halabi_

**July 31, 2001**

Pacey got in Joey’s truck and put his head on the steering wheel and let out a long sigh. 

Since Pacey came back, he has been scared of a few things.

One of them is coming back to his parent’s house, it has been a few weeks but he still refused to come back to his house. The fact that Doug hasn’t said anything to his family was somewhat surprising but also the fact that Pacey hasn’t run into any of them shocked him as well.

He already could picture what his Dad would say to him, _“Well, son. I guess, McDonald’s can hire you because fast food restaurants are going to be your best friend when that baby comes. Even then I highly doubt it will get you anywhere.”_

The second thing, Pacey was fearing over since he got home was his emotions when he was around Joey. Up until last week, he had been living on the couch at the B&B. That was until Bessie had talked to him and made a deal that if he isn’t going home then she could give him a room if he buys the groceries and cooks the meals for the guests at the B&B. Pacey had agreed to this in a heartbeat because he most definitely didn’t want to deal with his family.

But as the days continued, he remembered one of the reasons why he left to sail across the sea after he and Joey broke up. It was too hard to face her when he knew she wasn’t his anymore.

Every time, he would watch her walk into the room with a messy bun and the small pieces of her hair falling perfectly on her cheeks, and the way she would see him and she would just smile at him. It made him just want to pull her in and kiss her lips. But instead, he had to just stand there and watch her pass him.

Another way that she was killing him inside was the way he would hear her in the morning getting sick but he couldn’t do anything to help her the way he wanted to.

He _couldn’t_ whisper in her ears and reassure her that everything was going to be ok. He _couldn’t_ bring her into a hug as she would groan for feeling like she was going to throw up again. Instead, he had to just softly hand her a glass of water and gently rub her back.

He felt helpless every time he saw her, guilt overcoming his whole body but knowing full well there was nothing he could do besides just somehow be there in a friendly way. He didn’t know what he did before he dated her but he knew he felt worse than he did when she didn’t know how he felt.

As Pacey started to drive to the store, he stopped at Doug’s apartment and knocked on the door.When the door opened, he found Doug with gloves and an apron on and holding a bottle of bleach. 

“You know what Dougie, you say you are straight. But every time I see you like this I am convinced that my little conspiracy theories are true.”

Doug gave him a cold stare and raised an eyebrow. “Is there a reason why you are here or did you just come here to tell jokes?”

Pacey let out a deep breath and then smiled at him. “Can I come in?” 

Doug opened the door wider for him to come in. “I um, I know I am a few weeks late. But I, um… I came here to thank you for staying with Joey.” Pacey said while looking at his feet.

“Yeah, no problem,” Doug said as he took his gloves and apron off. “But, Pacey, do you know what the hell you are going to do with your life?” 

“Dougie.” 

“No, seriously, Pacey. You are going to have a baby? Do you know what you are going to do? Like how are you going to support this kid, or will you even keep the baby?”

“I don’t know, I am waiting for the right time to talk to Joey about it.”

“It has almost been three weeks and you still haven’t talked to her about this? When are you going to realize that you aren’t some senior in high school who just came back after running away from his problems? You have a kid, Pacey. Who one day is going to look up to you for everything. You have to start taking more action for your future.”

“You don’t think I know that Doug? I am fully aware that this time I got Joey pregnant. I am dropping everything for her and this child.” Pacey said.

“That’s great Pacey. But my question for you is when exactly is your plan to talk to Joey about your options, or are you just going to do it when the baby is here? Are you two going to live in Boston together? Because Pacey I don’t think you get it you need to start now whether you are keeping that child with Joey or not, you need to be adults and start taking action.”

Pacey covered his hand on his face and sighed. “I can handle it, Doug. 

Doug then got a business card from a small table. “I have something for you.” He said as he handed the card to Pacey. 

“What is this?” Pacey asked as he put his hand off his face to stare at Doug. “A guy I know in Boston. A chef.”

“I don’t need your help anymore,” Pacey said as he started to walk to the door. “I told the guy you would come in tomorrow-“

“Doug come on, man.” 

“Pacey, I am not asking you to do this for me. I am asking you to do this for the kid that you are going to have to be a father to in February. You are going to need a job and an apartment. If not for the kid, do it for Joey. Do you think she is going to want to live in a dorm room as she gets bigger? Because Pacey that is probably going to be the last thing she is going-“

“How would _you_ know what she wants?” Pacey challenged.

“Because Pacey _believe_ it or _not_ , I have seen pregnant women before, I have lived with our sister and mother while they were pregnant. They aren’t all happy to be getting bigger while the rest of us just sit there and watch. If you need help finding an apartment then there is some in the newspaper in-“

“Do I need to _spell_ it out to you? I don’t need you-,” Pacey said as he glared at him.

“My help, I know. But you know what I am not going to do, I am not going to ask you anymore, Pacey. I am telling you to do it. You don’t have to go in today but if not today then you need to do it before the end of next week. Believe it or not, Pacey if you don’t start doing this soon then you are going to start wishing you did this later in your life.”

“Ok, Ok, look, I have things I have to do for the B&B. But if I go see this guy tomorrow. Will you get off my case?” Pacey said as he took the card.

“Nothing will make me happier little brother.”

Pacey looked up at Doug and let out a deep sigh. The two said nothing else as he then begin to walk out the apartment door and back to the truck.

**March 3,1995**

* * *

Pacey was walking out of his second to last hour of school and felt as if he was walking to the first hour again. He was just so ready to be over this day that his heart was hurting. As he was walking he saw Joey outside the nurse’s office. He stopped and debated for a minute to see if he should walk over to her but she was sitting there all alone, so he started to walk over to her and sat next to her.

“You ok?” Pacey whispered. “Why do you care?” Joey whispered as she looked down at her feet as if they were going to be chopped off.

“I feel like there is no good way to answer that Potter.”

Joey looked up at him and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, just go back to class.” 

Pacey sat down and smiled at her. “You know I know you think I’m an asshole.” Pacey whispered with a wink and then looked at Joey who was glaring at him.

“Which by all means I am probably the biggest asshole that you have probably ever met. But if you need someone to talk to or even just sit by for a little bit. I can do that Potter.”

“And why would you even want to do that?

“Because in a way you look like you need a friend,” Pacey said with a smile.

“Whatever,” Joey said as she watched him sit down. She nervously looked around and then turned towards him.

“Um, Pacey, can I ask you for a favor?”

Pacey shrugged at her. “That depends on what you are trying to ask me, if you want me to attack someone maybe not so much but if-“

“Forget it,” Joey said looking the other way.

“No, No. What were you going to ask me?”

Joey didn’t reply so Pacey softly put his hand on her arm. “Come on Potter.”

Joey looked down at her hands and started to play with her fingers. “Can I um…forget it?”

“Can you what?” 

“Can I have your…jacket?” Joey whispered so softly that Pacey couldn’t even really hear her. 

He let out a gentle smile as he put off his jacket and gently handed her his jacket. She uncomfortably took it from him and put it on. 

“Thank you,” Joey whispered and Pacey noticed a small tear running down her face.

“You alright?” Pacey asked as delicate as he could. He then softly put his hands on her back and rubbed it.

“God, this is embarrassing,” Joey whispered as she started to wipe her eyes with her fingers. “Potter, trust me, I have three sisters who have told me things that _no_ little boy _should_ know.” 

“Well, I got my… you know. And I told Dawson that I could go to the nurse alone but I never exactly told him. So, when I got here, I called my Dad and Mom. But they wouldn’t answer til like fifteen minutes in and then Dad told me they can’t pick me up due to the restaurant. So I been sitting out here for a while, waiting for Dawson to notice so we can walk home together but he hasn’t noticed me gone, yet.”

“I could walk you.” 

“You don’t need to do that Pacey.” 

“Come on, it’s almost the last hour.We have already made it a point that I am the biggest ass you have met before. So think of this as an apology gift for these past six years.” Pacey said with a wink. Joey rolled her eyes but picked up her bags. 

“I am telling you, Witter. You do something abrupt or something completely unpalatable you will regret it for the rest of your waking days.”

“I got it, Potter.”

The two walked out of the school building and onto the road where Joey’s house was five blocks away. 

The two said nothing which honestly shocked Pacey because he didn’t even know this girl could be this quiet for this long. 

“So, why didn’t you go back to Dawson after class?” Pacey asked as he kicked a rock.

Joey scuffed. “Because I was too embarrassed to admit what was happening to me. In a way, I knew Dawson would be Dawson and go to class. But I wanted to believe I was wrong about that, you know like even if I wasn’t right that somehow he would notice. So, I just sat there and waited for him, and as time went by and the bell started to ring I watched as he never noticed me gone. It felt terrible and I wish he notices me during times like this.”

Pacey looked at Joey who was just quietly looking at her feet. He wasn’t going to say anything about it but in a way, he got the feeling. She wanted someone to see her and get it. It made sense, he felt that way with his family, with many girls in his life who just plainly never got him or even wanted to get him.

“Do you remember at my birthday this year I had puke on Justine Sherman?” 

“Yeah? She still calls you, Pacey Pukey.” Joey said with a laugh but then quickly stopped herself from continuing when she looked up at his facial expression. “I would say that’s the only time a girl has truly notice me.” 

“That’s just sad.” Joey deadpanned. “Yeah but you what is really sad is the fact, I just want a girl to look at me and feel every butterfly that you should feel with love. Like I want to be someone where they lay eyes on me and just feel every feeling they should get. The tingles, the giggles and just knowing the fact that I am the right person for them. Because I think there is a difference between when someone notices you compare to when someone is just seeing you.I think Justine notices me but she never sees me, and I feel like I am just waiting for her to see me.” 

“So, do you think Dawson sees me?”

“I don’t know, Potter but I think you are waiting for him to get you, just like how I am trying to get Justine to see me instead of calling me Pacey Pukey for the rest of my life.”

“I think it’s funny,” Joey said with a teasing smile. “Of course you do,” Pacey said with an exaggerated eye roll. 

Joey and Pacey were silent for a few minutes until Joey started to speak again. “My Mom can’t pick me up because she is sick again. The truth is I only called my Dad to pick me up. But we haven’t exactly been on the same page lately.”

“Is your mom going to be alright?” 

“I have no idea, we think she is but we could be wrong. It’s just… it’s depressing knowing I can’t help her with anything.”

“Are you ok with everything going on?” Pacey asked with concern in his voice. 

He watched as Joey bite her bottom lip and shrugged. “I mean finding out my mother has cancer again and she could pass away anytime soon, isn’t my idea of living at thirteen. But I think I’m scared of telling her if I am in pain because she has to go through all these treatments.”

“Joey I think she would understand.”

Joey said nothing as they turned the corner to where her house is.

“Thank you.” She said with a smile.

“Yeah sure,” Pacey said as he started walking away but then noticed a car pulling in the driveway.

He watched Dawson happily get out of the car but his expression changed when he saw Joey and Pacey standing there together.

“Oh hey, Pacey.”

“Hey.” 

Dawson walked over to them and looked at them side to side. 

“What are you doing wearing his jacket?” 

Joey looked down and then frowned at the jacket she was wearing.

“I forgot about this.” She whispered and then handed the jacket to Pacey.

“Is something going on between the two of you?” Dawson asked the two.

Pacey looked over at Joey who looked disgusted.

“ _God_ no.” The two said at the same time.

“Where were you last hour, I don’t understand what is happening here.” Dawson cried out.

“Dawson,” Joey whispered. 

“Just tell me-“

“I got my period, ok?” Joey snapped at him.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t get me to help you.”

“Look, man.” Pacey started to say but Dawson beat him to it. 

“Stay out of this.” He snapped.

Pacey put his hands up and then looked over at Joey. 

“See you later,” Pacey said to the two of them as Joey waved and Dawson glared at him.

As Pacey was walking back to the school to get his bike he thought about what Joey said about Dawson noticing her. He wasn’t going to tell her this, but Dawson did notice her. He did if he got jealous over something like this. 

In Pacey’s mind, it seemed ridiculous that he would get jealous over something like this. It was Joey Potter, the two a lot of the time couldn’t even stand each other. But he wasn’t going to leave her there in pain whether they despise each other’s presents or not. 

That day, Pacey made a promise to himself to just stay away from Joey when Dawson isn’t around. He didn’t know how well this could work out for him but if he made that promise to himself now then he could stay out of a lot of trouble from Dawson thought about the two of them. It was just easier that way.

**July 31,2001**

* * *

When Pacey finally got to the store, he started shopping to get all the groceries for the week that he needed but he then saw Dawson standing there. He felt his throat tighten and his fist clutch in his hands. 

Maybe if I just continue doing what I am doing, Dawson will not notice me, Pacey thought in his head as he started to look down and put down a few egg cartons in the cart. But sure enough, if Pacey had just thought about doing something Dawson was going to do the opposite. 

“Hey.” He could hear Dawson say to him. Fake face Pacey fake face. He reminded himself and then he started to speak. 

“Hey man,” Pacey said with a smile as he opened an egg carton to check for any cracks.

“I was wondering how Joey was doing?” 

Pacey did his best not to roll his eyes or let out a laugh at this. _Yeah, it’s great to see you too,Dawson. Oh, I have been good. How are you doing?_

“Well, she has been pretty sick lately but I think she has been alright.”

“Have she said anything about me and her?”

Pacey rolled his eyes at Dawson. Typical, don’t talk to Joey for a few weeks then ask me how she is doing

“No, Dawson. You know, out of the three weeks that I have been here the only thing we have talked about with you remotely even in it was about the fact that she had punched you. But if you want to talk to her, be my guest you can always go to the B&B.”

He then put the carton of eggs down to look up to see Dawson dramatically looking at a bag of cheese. 

“I am leaving tomorrow but I guess I just. I just don’t know if she would even want to see me before I leave.”

Pacey knew what Dawson had just said was false, Joey may have punched him but it was Joey. He knew what she was like when she was mad at Dawson. She will always care deeply for him and that is forever going to be his deepest insecurities.

“You know you two are the most stubborn people I have ever met and that says a lot since I come from a long line of very stubborn people. Even if she flat out said to me she didn’t want to see or talk to you. We all know Joey is growing a great deed of aversion with the fact that she hasn’t seen you. I don’t know what exactly you said but you did enough to piss her off where she had to punch you back into reality. But Dawson, one thing that isn’t going to change is the fact that she is pregnant. None of us can change that fact and it’s something that you and I will have to live with forever. But what you can change is the fact that you can go see her and say whatever you need. But, give her grace man. It’s already hard for her and we are learning this whole thing, half the day she spends it by the toilet. Just stop asking me, because we both know I am the last person you want to talk to.”

Pacey watched as he saw Dawson’s facial expression changed from sadness to resentment. 

  
“I am honestly just shocked you came back? I mean you told Joey off at the prom, and then sailed away for the summer. I thought surely you would continue doing it till the end of Joey’s pregnancy. Or _maybe_ you will just stay til you had enough of the responsibilities that a pregnancy will have on the two of you.”

Pacey’s fist clutched and he could feel the words making him want to punch Dawson in the face. “Well, unless she had sex with _you_ while I was gone. I don’t think it affects you, now does it?” 

For a moment, the two stared at one another and Pacey could feel the anger die down into emptiness. He closed his eyes and thought about everything they use to do when they were little.

How they would ride their bikes, play in the fort, and make up stories for days. They got their first jobs together and went to his house when he needed somewhere else to go. But the thing that Pacey had been realizing since they started to fight over Joey.Was the fact that now they are strangers to one another.

What Dawson didn’t know was how reliable Pacey is with Joey or how he spent most of the mornings doing his best not to upset her as he softly rubbed her back.

Dawson didn’t know about all those days on the boat where he wished he could be with her instead of Melanie. That he had somehow tricked his brain into believing that it was Joey.

The only thing that Dawson probably felt towards Pacey was the fact that he took his soulmate, his best friend for life. And that his prediction was true, Pacey was alone and he just used her for sex. That’s why they weren’t together in his mind. 

But Dawson never saw the tears that were threatening down his face whenever he thought hard about the situation or the plain terror he felt when Joey had to go to the hospital. 

Dawson may have thought he was going away but the one thing Pacey did know was he wasn’t planning on going anywhere, and the only place he wished he could magically be at instead of talking to Dawson was Joey’s arms.

“You are right, I am sorry,” Dawson whispered as he started to walk away.

“Hey, Dawson.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when Joey got her period for the first time?”

“Sort of.” 

“What did I do at that moment that you started to resent me for?”

Dawson said nothing as Pacey raised an eyebrow. “I don’t really-“

“After school, you came over to see if she was ok and I was there. You absolutely despised the fact that I gave her my jacket. It was like some part of our friendship broke a little, I saw how mad you got over it for just making sure she was ok and got home safely. For years, I continue to allow myself to not make you upset til now. I know you are despising over the fact that I got her pregnant. But unlike the period situation, this isn’t a one-time thing in seventh grade. It is something that Joey and I have to deal with for the rest of our lives. So it’s really up to you and only you if you want to be angry for the rest of your life or not.”

Pacey then watched as Dawson grabbed another bag of cheese and walk away without another word. Pacey knew that Dawson knew he was right. It was one of the best feelings he had in weeks. Finally, showing Dawson that this is his life and he needs to decide what he wants to do with it.

* * *

When Pacey walked into the B&B he saw Bessie sitting at the table with Alexander. He smiled as he walk through the door and Alexander looked up at him and let out a huge smile. 

“Hey.” Alexander said with a wave. “Hey buddy.” Pacey said as he waved at Alex while setting the groceries down. 

“How was the shopping?” Bessie asked. “It was alright, but I have to go to Boston tomorrow for a job interview.”

“Oh?” Bessie asked. “Yeah, Doug got me this job, I just have to go up there.” Pacey said while he started putting up the groceries.

“So, what are you thinking about doing?” Bessie asked. 

“Honestly, I have no clue. I will probably get a few newspapers and look to see if I can find a place for rent.” Pacey said as he started to pick up the orange juice bottle but Bessie stopped him.

“Wait, don’t put that up,yet. Go give Joey a cup.”

“Is she still in the bathroom?” Pacey asked as he got a cup. Bessie nodded her head as Alexander started screaming. 

Pacey left the kitchen as he went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Jo? Can I come in?” 

He heard a grumble and then the door unlocking. “Hey.” Pacey whispered softly as he sat down on the floor with her. “How you feeling?” He said as he watch her put her head on the toilet seat. 

Joey gave him a thumbs up as he softly rubbed her back. “Here try and drink this.” 

Joey lift her head up and groaned as she rest her head inside the toilet. “I don’t think I can do it.” She whispered into the toilet. 

“Here it may help if you get up.” Pacey said as he helped her up. “I am going to have to hold onto you.”

“That’s ok.” 

Joey nodded as Pacey softly picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. He felt her head pressed into his chest. He was enjoying this just for the touch that he had with her.

“Maybe we should go to doc-“

“No, it’s ok. It only happens if I don’t eat right away.”

Pacey didn’t say anything as he helped her into the bed.

“Alright, I will trust you on your word Potter.”

“Great.” Joey muttered with an eye roll. 

“I am going down to Boston for a job interview.” 

“Really?” Joey whispered as she watched him sit on the floor next to the bed. “I mean is that something you want to do?”

Pacey laughed. “Jo, I don’t think anyone wants a job but in less you want to live at the B&B for the rest of our lives then yeah I think it is something that I would like to do.”

He watched as she let a small weak grin fall on her face and he felt a sense of guilt. Maybe Dawson was right and Joey really did think that he would leave. He had done it after they broken up but had he really proved to her that this was different than the time before. 

“What restaurant is it?” Joey asked him. “I think it’s called Civilization,I have a card for it.” Pacey said as he got the business card from his pocket. 

Joey looked at it and smiled. “Danny Brecher.” Joey whispered as she handed him the card. “I guess I should find me a job as well.” She mumbled as she buried her face into the pillow.

Pacey didn’t say anything for a minute as he looked at the card. The words that Dawson had said to him repeated in his mind over and over again, _I thought surely you would continue doing it till the end of Joey’s pregnancy. Or maybe you will just stay til you had enough of the responsibilities that a pregnancy will have on the two of you._

Is that what everyone thought that he would do, did Joey think that? Did Bessie and Bodie think like that? Did he honestly himself, think that is what’s going to happen because he knew he will always be there to support and love her but maybe everyone else was right. Maybe he would just leave out of fear. 

He was about to ask Joey about it when he saw she was asleep, he smiled up at her and stood up to walk to the kitchen to do breakfast for everyone else.

**August 1,2001**

* * *

Pacey woke up early that morning and cooked for the guests and then went off to Boston. As he was walking he stopped at a newspaper stand but then he felt someone run into him. 

“Kyle, come buddy. Don’t do this to Aunt Audrey, your mommy will _kill_ me.” A tall blonde hair woman said as a little curly black hair boy started to hide behind Pacey’s back while laughing. 

Pacey looked at the little boy who was smiling up at him with big green eyes. This is new. Pacey thought to himself as he put his hand over the little boy’s hand to keep him from going anywhere.

“Thank you,” The young woman said as she picked up the little boy. “That was fun Aunt Audrey let’s do it again.” Kyle said to her.

“No, We are not doing that again. You know why because your mommy will have a heart attack if I lose you.”

“Like that one time in the store.” Kyle yelled. “Shut it.” Audrey said then looked up at Pacey.

“Hi, I am so sorry. He is just so fast.” Audrey said with an eyeroll. 

“Audrey Liddell,” She said while holding out her hand.

“Pacey Witter.” He said while shaking her hand.

“I’m Kyle.” The little boy said with a big smile. “It’s very nice to meet you,buddy.” Pacey told him.

“Wait, is your brother Doug Witter?” Audrey asked. “Yeah, that’s my brother.” 

“Oh, I saw him come in the other day to talk to Danny, the chef of Civilization.”

“You work there?”

“No, my half sister works there.” 

“My mommy.” Kyle stated very seriously. 

“Are you still looking for an apartment?” Audrey asked. “Um, yeah. I was going to go look at these places.”

“We are looking for a roommate and your brother talked to my sister and I. If you want to I can show you now after I dropped off this little guy to Civilization with his mom.” 

“Yeah sure. I was on my way over there anyway.”

“Well, Danny may put you to work but I can say that I am stealing you for the day if he does need you.” Audrey said as she set down Kyle and took the little boy’s hand.

“So, Doug mention that you have a baby coming your way.” Audrey asked.

“Yeah with my girl uh ex girlfriend,Joey.”

“You two still want to live together?” 

“I mean I feel like it would be easier if we do it that way. I mean you ladies don’t want to have a baby in the apartment.”

“No, it’s not that…trust me.”

“Mr.Pacey.” Kyle suddenly said. “Yes?” 

“How old are you?” Kyle asked. 

“18, how old are you?” 

“I’m three. I turn _four_ in two weeks.” Kyle said while holding up his fingers. “When is your birthday?”

“In January.” 

Kyle was silent for a moment as he looked at Audrey confused. “What?” Audrey asked him.

“How is _he_ having a baby? Mommy says that babies can only grow in a girl’s belly.” 

“Oh looky, we are here.” Audrey said as Pacey let out a chuckle. 

“Mommy!” Kyle said as he saw his mom. “Hey buddy.” A curly red hair woman said as she kissed the little boy’s cheek. 

“That man right there is having a baby. I thought only _girls_ can have babies.” Kyle said with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Sorry.” Audrey mouth to her. 

“Pacey.” Pacey said as he hold out his hand. “Flora.” The woman said as she shook his hand. 

“I’m looking for a guy name Danny Brecher?” Pacey asked them. “He is over there.” Flora said as she pointed towards the other side of the restaurant.

“Come on buddy let’s go to your Dad’s.” Flora said as she picked up Kyle. 

“Bye.” Kyle said as she waved at Pacey and Audrey.

“Bye bubs.” Audrey said as Pacey waved at the little boy. “Well what are you waiting for?” Audrey asked Pacey.

“Nothing.” Pacey said as he walked over to Danny who was cutting up food.

“Good, I love bunny. Can we go now?” A woman said as she stare down Danny. “Scatter. And push the fish.”

“Tomorrow, when we come in. Do you want us to kill people?” The woman said as she looked Pacey up and down and then walked out the door.

“She’s kidding. The fish is fine.” Danny reassured Pacey as he saw him walk in. “Do you eat rabbit?” Danny asked.

“I like anything that’s free.” Pacey replied to him as he took a piece. “Not bad.”

“Don’t kid yourself, it’s spectacular.” 

“Well, I have never exactly eaten thumper before so I have nothing to judge it against.”

“That’s a good point. You the new dish washer?”

Pacey laughed at this and then cleared his throat. “No. I am looking for this guy, Danny Brecher.”

“That’s me.”

“You’re the chef?”

“I prefer cook but whatever. This is my kitchen, you found me, go for it before we get slammed in here.”

“I am here for my big brother as like a favor in a way.”

“You’re Dougie’s brother?”

“Yeah, Pacey.”

“So, you are the dishwasher.” Danny said. “Hey, Lindell.” Danny called to the other side of the restaurant.

“Brecher.” Audrey said as she walked over.

“Thought Flora left to take her son to his Dad.”

“She did.” Audrey said as she sat down. “So you going to give this boy a job or you going to sit here all day making small talk.”

“Listen your brother said you needed this job and I am willing to give it to you if you are willing to work. He said you and your girlfriend need the money.”

“My ex girlfriend but yeah you’re right. How do you know Doug?”

“How do I know your brother? My wife’s parents have a place in Capeside. When I’m not cooking I tend to get drunk a lot and howl at the moon.” Danny said as he looked up at Pacey who let out a smile. 

“That surprises you?”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine any woman would marry you, what was she thinking.” Pacey said as Audrey let out a laugh.

“You have a better sense of humor than your brother has, not that I can use that around here, unless you have seen the error of your ways.”

“Actually I have seen the error of _your_ ways. You see you don’t want me washing your dishes.”

“I don’t?”

Pacey shook his head. “No, I am much to valuable a commodity for that.”

“I thought we established that your skills didn’t transfer to dry land.”

“But you see, I have caught, cleaned and cook, just about every fish in the western hemisphere,ok. And if I can do that, I am pretty sure I can master dicing tomatoes and chopping up parsley.”

Danny was silent for a moment as he thought about what to do. “You know, Danny you know that he is right.” Audrey whispered. 

“Show up on time everyday, and work clean, and you can have pretty much any job around here including mine.”

“Great. Trust me, the only way you could ever regret this is if you didn’t give me the job. From what I can tell you will most definitely will need my help.” Pacey said as he walked out of the restaurant.

Audrey followed behind him. “So, where are you going now, Mr.Know it all.” Pacey said. “Looking for cheap apartments.” 

“Well, follow me.” 

“So, what’s the story behind you and your half sister living together?”

“The story?Well, around eighteen years ago my mother met my married rich dickhead of a father, then I ruined their life by having me. Then Flora and I didn’t know each other til mom went insane and I went to Dad’s place when I was thirteen.

So, Dad got full custody til I realized what a dick head he really is. So when I was seventeen I moved in with Flora who is twenty now. She had her son when she was seventeen and so the deal has always been if I work and help her with Kyle then I can live with her.”

“What did he actually do?”

“He hit me and did some unforgivable things.” Audrey said with a shrug. Pacey could see that she clearly didn’t want to talk about it.

“And Kyle’s Dad?”

“Flora is trying to get full custody of Kyle but a long time ago his father somehow got custody of Kyle which is a whole story itself.”

“What about you?” Audrey asked him.

“What about me?”

“What’s your quote on quote story?”

“My parents had me after a _vasectomy_. When I was seven my Dad was constantly hitting me and then one day in Junior year I moved into Doug’s place after getting into trouble. Then,I dated the girl I always wanted but during May of this year we broke up due to my lack of ability to handle my feelings. Went sailing across the sea to only stop two weeks early to find out I got the woman pregnant.” 

“And you two going back to one another?” 

“No, I don’t feel like that would be a good thing for the kid or for us.” Pacey said as he held the building door open for her to walk in. “Well, the apartment is on the fifth floor and the elevator is broken.” Audrey informed him.

“It’s broken?” Pacey asked as he walked over to the stair case. “Yeah, one day Kyle and I were stuck in that elevator for five hours, even if it was fix Kyle said he would never go into it again.”

“Remind me never to leave you with my kid.”

“That is a very good note.”

The two were quiet as they walked up the stairs. “Here it is.”

Pacey walked in to see a big window and four bedrooms. A big enough kitchen and living room space, two bathrooms and a patio that look over the small city.

“That’s not what I was expecting.” 

“What did you expect?”

“Honestly I expect a dungeon with the way the lobby was.”

Audrey scruff, “Well trust me, looks can be debating sometimes.” Audrey said as she walked over to the kitchen.

“So what do you do?” Pacey asked as he looked at all the photos in the living room.

“I’m a waitress for a restaurant down the street.”

“Not at Civlization?”

“God, no. I couldn’t work there.” Audrey said with a laugh. “Why not?” Pacey asked her as he walked up to her.

“I love Flora. But my idea of spending there five days a week with Flora all day and come home to see her isn’t exactly my idea of fun.”

“I understand that.” Pacey said as he picked up a blank sheet of paper. “Give me your number and I will call you.”

“Well my number is under the apartment section since we been looking for a roommate due to money.”

“And nobody wants it?”

“Please, sometimes we get a call and we mention a three year old and that’s it for them. And other times they just see the lobby.”

“Really?” Pacey said as he watched Audrey circle a few other apartment besides hers.

“What are you circling?” 

“Well, check out the other apartments and then you and your baby mama can choose which one you like.”

Pacey cringed. “What?” Audrey asked with a laugh. “Just sounded weird when you said baby mama.”

“Is that not what it is?”

Pacey let a humorless chuckle as he saw her look at the clock. “Well i’m very late to work. But call me when you find out if you want the apartment.”

“I assure you that I’ll will call you as soon as I hear what my quote on quote baby mama says due to your long list, we may not even get in.”

“Haha.” Audrey deadpanned as she took off her shirt. “What do you think you are doing?” Pacey said with a laugh.

“Changing for work, it’s not like I going full nude on you. I’m just changing my shirt .” Audrey said with an eyeroll as she button up her shirt.

“Man, I love the way your mind works.” Pacey said with a wink. “But I think that’s my cue to leave. I will call you.” Pacey said.

“You do that.” Audrey called as Pacey walked out the apartment.

* * *

Pacey looked around for a few more hours and by the last apartment he was done with the crappy places he had seen and drove back to the B&B.

He stood there as he got out and went inside. He could hear the television playing in the living room and the whole house was completely dark. “Joey?” He called out as he sat the newspaper on the kitchen table. 

He then spotted her on the couch holding what look to be an E.T doll that he had seen countless times in Dawson’s room. He knew what exactly what had happened while he was gone. The one person beside her Dad and Pacey himself that could make her that upset was Dawson Leery.

Pacey kneeled in front of her and softly took the doll out of her arms and pulled her up to go into a hug. This was the only thing he ever knew how to comfort her was by holding her.

He felt like every time he did hold her it was like the whole universe had stopped to allow this one moment to happen between the two of them. He could feel her relax in his arms as he continued to comfort her and he refused to let her go.

“It’s ok.” Pacey whispered in her ear. “You are ok.” He whispered as he continued to calm her down and he felt her breathing slow down as his hands ran on her back to soothe her. 

Suddenly, she got out of his arms as if she didn’t need any comfort anymore. He watched as she took the E.T doll and hold it tightly as if she was five years old again. Pacey then felt awkward as he sat down next to her. He fear that somehow he would mess this up.

“What happened Jo?” He whispered softly to her and watch her shake her head at him. “It’s stupid.” She whispered.

“Joey, it’s not stupid even if you are simply crying over the end of the ET movie it would never be stupid, well maybe it would be a little bit funny-“ Pacey started to say but he stopped himself as she gave him a look that he knew far to well. A look that said you better say sorry or I will stab you in your sleep.

“Ok, it will not be funny,” he said with his hands up in the air. He smiled as he heard Joey give him a weak chuckle,

“Dawson came to the B&B before he left.” Joey started to say. “Was he rude?” Pacey asked gently as he could but he could hear the bitterness in his own voice as he thought about all the things Dawson had said to him.

“No, actually it was the opposite. He said that he will stay and he is ok with this new part of my life, and he would love to be apart of it.” Joey said.

Pacey looked at her confused as he watched her play with the doll’s arms. “That’s great-“ Pacey started to say but stopped as Joey stood up and started talking “Ever since I found out about the pregnancy my mind has been racing, like what if I can’t complete school. I mean would a school like Worthington want me-“ Joey said as she started to pace on the floor but Pacey got up.

“Whoa,whoa,whoa. Joey. You don’t think my mind isn’t racing as well?” He said.

“I mean I know you promise me, but how do you know the school would even want me now? How can I complete everything now? I mean nobody going to want to be around me when I become this huge hormonal woman that can’t deal with her feelings.Plus, there is the studying, Pacey. You know how I am about my grades, it took a lot of scholarships to even get into that school, and even then that wasn’t enough. Dawson had to help and all the-“

“But you got in,” Pacey said as he took her hand. “You, Miss. Joey Potter got into the college of your dream. Because you worked hard for what you wanted. You are going to get looks, and you are right you may not get the full picture of your dream. But did you think I wanted to give up my dream on that boat? No, I didn’t.”

“Then why did you?” Joey asked as he sat her down on the couch. Pacey could see all the memories come in his mind as he thought about every single thing that made him fall for Joey with just the simple thought of her.

“When we first had sex, I had a moment where I wasn’t just some horny teenager that wanted sex all the time without thinking. Yes, I repeated myself over and over about the sex but in a way, I have known you practically my whole life. I have seen you cry in tears of frustration when your grades weren’t perfect. Even with a ninety-eight, it was hard for you to accept how amazing you are.

I remember the first time you got your period, and I had to give you my jacket. You were embarrassed, but I am so used to things like that because of the women in my household. I was there at your mom’s funeral, and I held you for just a few minutes but in my eyes that felt like a lifetime.”

He then let out a sigh and a small laugh. “I remember when I first met you, it was in Mrs.Thomas’ classroom and I took one look at you and fell for you. But instead of being nice to you and telling you were beautiful, I pulled your ponytail and told everyone you had cooties.” Pacey said with smirk.

He felt like he was in heaven when he heard her laugh. “And that’s the moment I hated you.”

“But Jo, in my mind, it was the moment that I noticed you are different from the other girls. So much that I kissed you three times, and still never lost hope. So, when we started to have sex, I thought about the future. I made a promise to myself that if you happen to get pregnant I would stay by your side. Helping you, loving you, and supporting you whether we are together or not. But most of all showing that kid, that parents can get along. I will be a father who will support this child no matter what you and I’s relationship is ever like. When I heard that you were pregnant, I didn’t know what to say. When I heard you were in the hospital from Doug, I dropped everything in hopes that you were ok.

I told you this four years ago when we first worked on that science project together and I will tell you this again right now. You will make it, and that Jo, hasn’t changed. I will help you study. On September first when you walk into that building and someone makes a single comment about you. You can just tell me. Because nothing is going to stop me from letting you give up your dreams. I can let go of mine but no way in hell will I allow yours to leave. Do you hear me? We aren’t together as a couple but I have always had high hopes for you. You just have to let me in.”

“I hear you, Pacey. I am just scared if we are doing this all-“ Joey started to say but Pacey couldn’t take it anymore he had to show her the papers.

“Here are all the apartments that are around Worthington. Here are all the jobs that are hiring even pregnant woman like yourself.” Pacey said as he sat down next to her again while handing her the papers. “I did this when I left the interview.Which I got it by the way.”

“You did?” Joey asked while looking up at the papers to look at him. “Yeah, I start Monday but I was thinking about this. We rent an apartment together. You will be on one side, I will be on the other side. We don’t even have to talk to one another. We split rent with each other and someone else, we are both broke at the moment but I still have some money that could get us through the first rent. We both work, and if we do decide to keep the baby. I will stay with you till you want me out.”

Pacey could see the tears forming into her eyes as she looked up at him in shock. “You would do that?”

“Yes, I would. I will do whatever you need. There are plenty of cheap apartments, it could be a fixer-upper with some. However, I am pretty sure we can handle that after our long list of fixer-uppers. But if you don’t want to do this-“

Joey shook her head at him. “Are you kidding? That is a great idea. Thank you, Pace.”

Pacey just wanted to somehow make this beautiful woman in front of him happy. He thought about his family, and how for so long he had tried to be successful at making them happy.

He thought about every single scar his Dad gave him. He thought about every single thing his family had told him about his own life. Everything that Dawson had ever said to him, that Joey would never love him like he would love her. How Joey probably expected him to leave maybe not now but soon. 

Pacey knew those were lies but it felt as if they were real. He felt as if everything that he had ever heard about him failing or going to fail was true. 

He may have gotten that job but he act so confident in what he was doing. When was Danny going to realize he had no clue what he was doing? When was he going to realize that he was known for being a screw up and that he shouldn’t be surprised by him when he somehow managed to fail him.

His thoughts were then interrupted by Joey’s voice.

“Pace?”

“Jo.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Pacey let out a small chuckle and looked up at her. He knew where she would be if she was without him, “You wouldn’t be pregnant if you were without me.”

“That’s not funny.” She told him as he watch her bite her lip. He smiled but all the feelings were coming back from what he thought went away a long time ago. He felt the butterflies coming back and he felt dizzy from all the feelings he thought he once lost but it was there again. He wanted to kiss her soft delicate lips but he knew he shouldn’t. He quickly look down at the paper and started to act like he was focusing down on the paper.

As if she was reading his mind she asked him.“Is this weird to you?” 

“What do you mean?” Pacey asked her.

“I mean four months ago we were in high school, dating and wondering where life was taking us and now we are sitting here trying to figure out what this whole pregnancy will bring us. I mean is this ok?” Joey explained to him. “I mean we got to do, what we got to do. It just kind of sad, we have to do it this way.” Pacey said.

“Are you ok with this?” Pacey asked her. He could see her getting nervous as she started to push her hair behind her ear.

“You know, part of me thinks we can prove a lot of things to this kid if we aren’t together. I seen my parents not work out and they had a baby at a young age, I think we were made to be together at one point in time but maybe it was never really meant to be.”

“Yeah. I guess you are right.” Pacey said as he looked back down at the newspaper. “This isn’t as expensive as the other ones,” Joey said as he pointed at a place.

“Yeah, I looked at most of them while I was down there,” Pacey said. 

“Tell me about this place.” Joey said.

“Well, there is a woman named Flora who originally rents it, she wants to split the cost. She is twenty and she has a three-year-old but he only lives there on the weekends. The Dad walked out but she is trying to fight for full custody but she needs the money to take care of her son. So, she wants to split the cost with other people.Right now, there is just her and her sister Audrey,who is around our age, living there.”

“And is that the only place you have gone to?” Joey asked. “Uh, no. I went to five different places but that was the last one. All the other ones were either way too pricey or in a trashy neighborhood.” Pacey said.

“Well, we should look at it,” Joey said as she closed the newspaper. “Um, Jo, I think we are forgetting one part that we haven’t talked about,” Pacey said as he nervously picked at the thread of his sleeve. 

Out of everything, he had been doing today. He knew there was thing missing. He figured out everything else except the one thing that made him do all this. The baby.

“Which is?”

“Well,you talked about adoption, and I think it is an idea. But we need to know if we are saving our money for a baby, and how many jobs should we get now?”

He noticed how quiet as he waited for her to say something. “I want to keep this baby, Pace. But what if we weren’t meant to be parents. When I first found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death but after my first doctor’s appointment. I heard the little heartbeat and everything that I felt just went away. But you are asking me what I want but isn’t it about what you want as well? Do you think we could handle a kid, Pace?”

“You don’t think I am not scared as well?” He whispered. “I am terrified of our doctor’s appointment that is in a few days. But I lay awake at night daydreaming of every little thing, and it just makes me want this baby more and more. I want to be a father, and yeah. I don’t know what the hell I am doing but man wouldn’t it be amazing if we just let our fears go and tried? Forget about our past and just took care of this baby with the love and kindness that it deserves?”

“I want this baby too, Pacey. But if we do keep this baby promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me we will both stay. I feel like my mind has been spinning from all these fears. Will he not come back? Will he realize he doesn’t want this baby with me and leave? Will he realize that his dreams are still out there and we are still young?”

He pulled her into his arms as he could feel his emotions building up, so this was it. This was the promise he would make not to just Joey but to their baby.

“I promise you. I will be there. To answer those fears, I would come back. The past will haunt you one day or another and by leaving you now it would be very cowardly of me to come back to this and just leave you and this child.”

“So we are both keeping this baby?” Joey asked softly. “Yeah, I guess so,” Pacey whispered.

“But, um. We should probably tell your family.” Joey said nervously. “Well, they like you more than me,” Pacey said.

“Yeah. Pacey, I went to those Sunday dinners with your mom for at least seven months and I bet she is going to take one good look at me if we go over there and be like hey Josie.”

“Better than a failure.” Pacey scruff as he folded the newspaper and put it on the table. “I mean we could always not tell them, Jo.”

“No, No, No,” Joey said with a teasing smile

“Or we can go to a different country and act like we have no lives here.”

“You are trying hard to get out of this aren’t you?”

“Yeah, is it working?” Pacey said with a wink.

“Nope because there are some people in our lives that already know,” Joey said with a laugh.

“Well, damn.”

“As much as we are going to regret this, just call your mom. But it helps I’m scared to tell my Dad.”

Pacey smiled at her and squeezed her hand. He felt a sense of guilt for not having Joey’s parents around to have someone to comfort her during this time. To not be there when she most needed her parent’s love and protection. Sure, Joey had Bessie and Bodie but he thought about the time that he laid on the beach crying to his Dad or the time when he was seven when he first discovered what his Dad was capable of doing when he was drunk.

“How about this?” Pacey said. “I will tell my family and you write to your Dad about the pregnancy.”

“You know, moving away sounds like a good idea right now,” Joey whispered.

“Well, like you said half the family already knows.”

Pacey smiled at her as he thought about what life would be like if they did run away. What life would be like if it was just the two of them and what life would be like if nothing scared them just like he did when they went sailing for the summer. He miss those days where nothing bugged them and the only problem they had was finding ports to take showers and get fresh clothes.

“I never told you this but when I was little my Dad would come in whenever I had a bad dream. It was always the same dream over what I feared over. I would wake up screaming my head off, and my Dad would comfort me. Then we would make pancakes, his pancakes are like yours. Soft and fluffy, but when he put chocolate chips and bananas in it. One thing it has in common is the warmth it gets it. Now, I miss his pancakes and I would do anything to go to him and have me make them.”

Pacey got up and went into the kitchen. “I will make some now. Keep talking.”

“I wonder what my mom would say about all of this,” Joey said with a laugh. “Probably would yell at me.”

Pacey said nothing as he started to make the batter. He thought about all those times where his parents made him feel stupid and useless. He thought about how his parents were alive but he was scared to tell them about the one thing that will change his life forever. Maybe he was so scared of being parents because of how his parents acted as he growing up.

“When I was little I was scared of a lot of things,” Pacey whispered. “I was told to hold in my feelings but, one day I remember my Dad running for sheriff, and I had to wear a suit and a tie. The tie was too tight, and the people were making me anxious. I remember my stomach was hurting so much I just fell to the floor. I was only seven but I had embarrassed my Dad that night for not being the perfect son. For not being the way he wanted. That was the first beaten, I had ever gotten. It was over something so stupid but it was also the night I viewed my Dad in a different way.”

He started to mix the batter together as he watched her cut the bananas. “I remember when my mom died, I walked into the room and found her cold. She was so lifeless and then Dad got back into drugs. The rumors started to go around fast and it felt like my whole world was falling behind me. That’s one of the main reasons why I am excited to get out of Capeside in September. Even if I come back, about living here. I just care that I don’t live here.”

Pacey turned to her and let out a chuckle. “Maybe that’s why we are so scared to be parents. It’s funny because when you are little you view your parents as someone who can never hurt you. Then when finding out that they can hurt you it’s like this pain comes over you no matter how old you are.”

He watched her chocolate eyes stare up at him and how her smile was so small but yet so big in his eyes.“I think I am going to write that letter. But I can’t wait for the pancakes, it’s the first thing in weeks that don’t sound disgusting.”

“Well, since you are doing that. I will call Ma.”

He then grabbed the house phone and dialed his family’s number. But when the phone picked up he heard his older sister talking through the phone. He felt this sting of guilt when he heard his older sister’s voice and he wished he didn’t feel like this already two seconds into the phone call.

Then, all the words rushed through his brain. We will still love you sweetheart even if you end up flipping burgers for the rest of your life. He could hear his mom say. 

“Hey, Carrie. Is Mom there?” 

“Yeah, hold on let me go get her.”

It was quiet for a moment until he heard his mom on the other side of the phone. “Pacey? I thought you were sailing?”

“I was, but um can I come over next weekend with Joey. We have something to tell you.”

“Would next Sunday work for the two of you?”

“Yeah, Ma.” He said to her and the guilt started to come in again. Hang up the phone just hang up the phone. “Great, we will see you next Sunday. Bye.” 

He looked down to see that the pancakes he was making where burnt and Pacey threw the burnt pancakes away as he could feel tears falling down his face.

He mostly felt overwhelmed as he put his forehead on the kitchen cabinet. How did he think the would be a good father? He had never been a good friend, boyfriend, brother,son, worker, or even good enough to make these pancakes because no matter what he did he wasn’t good enough. He would simply never be good enough in anyone’s eyes.

He wiped his hand on his face and tried to make a new batch and then he muttered under his breath telling himself to get over himself and that he needed to grow up. This wasn’t how adults act when life got tough he knew that he just needed to get over himself. But why was his brain not letting him?

He then felt Joey’s arms wipe around his and he felt her warmth and security as she placed her chin was on his shoulder.

“Joey.” He whispered with his eyes closed. “Pacey, you don’t have to do this.” She whispered to him.

“I feel like I do.” He whispered but then she turned him around to where they were face to face. “No, you don’t,” Joey said loudly as she put her forehead on his.

“I just want to make you proud because I… um…I am the one that got you pregnant. I owe you that much.”

“No, you don’t. Pacey don’t you see it? I don’t want anything except for you to be happy and present. College, my Dad, jobs, apartments, or even the questions of what-ifs don’t matter to me if you aren’t in this with me.”

“Do you think it’s wrong of me to have this pain of guilt when I just called my Mom?”

“No, I understand that. This is just us having to deal our feelings. But, Pace. Even if they say something rude about you and me. You don’t let it get to you. And another thing is you don’t have to be the hero. I said to Dawson today and I will say it to you. You don’t have to feel like you have to be nice or fun to be around just because you are here or even moving in with me. You still have your life, what happened in the past stays there but you have to make your path right now. Nobody is stopping you from anything.”

He felt the palm of her finger wipe away his tears as he let out a small laugh. He wanted to hear that since he came back. But he needed to feel her lips, he needed her body. He needed to hear her laugh, needed her to be there with him for the rest of his life. He needed her smile, but most of all he could see all of his needs and desires weren’t going away and he wished so desperately that he could be with her without feeling like a screw up.

But instead of telling her all of this, he watched her walk out that door and leave.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this story, it took me two months to get all of these ideas together. If you like it please let me know by giving me feedback by commenting and leaving a kudo. I would deeply appreciate it.


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